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Dave Confirms A Suspicion I've Had For A While: Rich People's Houses Are Too Big

Paul Harris. Getty Images.


We blog all the time on this here website about celebrities homes. Whether it's an actor, athlete, or businessman who perhaps spent 20 years delivering newspapers while Gaz was rolling at Liv, the houses never disappoint. They always have 15 bedrooms, a wine cellar, tennis courts, putting greens, movie theaters, you name it, they got it. 

But I've been holding onto a take for a while. I actually started a draft of this blog 6 months ago but never finished it, but now I'm validated in my take- rich people's houses are simply too big. Who needs that much space?? Why do you need 15 bedrooms for the sake of having 15 bedrooms? What reasonable person needs more than a few bedrooms, a few bathrooms, and a pool? And this morning, our fearless, (not short) leader sent a Tweet that confirmed my suspicions:



I don't mean this with any sarcasm- having that large of a house sucks. Imagine having to poop and you have to run down a long hallway to get there? He better never invite Jerry over. You leave your coffee in living room number 1, walk over to living room number 3 to record your teenage girl gossip podcast, and then have to decide if you make the trek back to living room number 1 to get your coffee before recording? Lewis and Clark wouldn't even make that journey.

Again, without sarcasm, why don't they make rich people's houses normal sizes? Why can't you live in the most exclusive, wealthy areas without having to drop $15 million on so much unnecessary space? It just seems like a gigantic waste. Plus the money it takes to cool the place in Miami must be astronomical. But if the alternative is living among the great unwashed, having normie neighbors, you just have to do it. 

Someone's gotta develop a rich people neighborhood of normal sized homes. Plus, since it will be one of a kind, the rich folks will pay a premium for them. They'll still be sick houses, but without 10,000 square feet of bare walls and marble floors that never get walked on. Natey Real Estate: Normal Homes for Not Normal People. Poof, I'm now a billionaire and have this burden myself. Mo money, mo problems. Sigh.