Tom Brady Achieved Maximum Bluntness When Asked if the Jets Tried to Recruit Him

John Angelillo. Shutterstock Images.

It's a sad truth that life can be cruel. No matter how much effort you put into trying to be a good person, live a moral life, embrace positivity and try to do whatever pleases Jesus, deep down inside every grown man lives the little boy who pulled the legs off a spider just to see what would happen. It's not something to be proud of. And part of growing up is learning to control that impulse. But it's an unfortunate part of human nature. 

And there's no better analogy for that than the New York Jets, the tiny, helpless spider of the sports world. As much as I want to not take pleasure in their eternal misfortune, I just can't seem to supress that urge. Try as I might. It's been a part of me for so long, I just can't seem to unlearn that innate behavior. 

I mean, I didn't want Aaron Rodgers to get hurt. I would never invite that bad juju. But at the same time, it's impossible not to be cruelly entertained by how it all went down and how they find themselves once again looking for a savior to save them.

Or to take note of the eerie timing of when it all went down. No sooner had Tom Brady had his heartfelt, emotional reunion with the Patriots fans who never got a proper chance to bid him farewell, then fate added an unfortunate fifth snap to Rodgers' four snaps as a member of the Jets. And so it was inevitable that some would connect those dots. And take to Photoshop:

As an aside, I love the fact that Rodgers didn't get Joe Namath's No. 12, but everyone who put the memes together just assumed New York Brady would. The best player in the Hall of Fame doesn't acquiesce to the worst. (Don't come at me. Namath's career record is 62-63-4, with two postseason wins, 173 TDs, 220 INTs, and a passer rating of 65.5. If he's a legit Hall of Famer, you're gonna need a bigger Hall.) 

Anyhow, Brady was asked the inevitable by his podcast co-host/friend/manservant Jim Gray. And his answer gave new meaning to the word "cryptic" Also the word "disgust":

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Consider this from a Jets fans perspective. Again, it's putting yourself in the position of the legless spider, but that's how we learn empathy. Once again, they find themselves desperately sifting through the flotsam and jetsam (Jets-am?) of unemployed or barely employed quarterbacks looking for someone, anyone, who isn't the one they have. The one they spent a ton of draft capital to obtain. A long line of them, from Mark Sanchez to Geno Smith to Sam Darnold, Zach Wilson, and now Zach Wilson again. So they're combing through the LinkedIn profiles seeing all the usual suspects. Carson Wentz. Jameis Winston. Joe Flacco. Matt Ryan. Colt McCoy. And perhaps for one, brief moment of hope, they thought maybe, just maybe, a miracle would happen. Brady would accept the challenge, rub New England's collective nose in the dogshit, and all their problems would be solved. But Brady crushed their hopes with nothing but a couple of grunts and a look of absolute contempt on his face. Still and always, The Patriot for Life he declared himself the day Rodgers got hurt. 

If I could change anything about this, I'd probably wish he strung Jets fans along a little bit. Let them go a few days thinking he was at least considering it. Build them up just so he could tear them down. But then again, I'm trying to be better than that, not just giving into my worst instincts. Besides, the universe doesn't need the help. It seems to be doing a fine job of being cruel to the Jets all on its own.