I guess the answer is clear. Who wins Taylor Swift in Joe Jonas and Sophie Turners divorce? SOPHIE.
I went to bed last night at midnight and this is PRECISELY why I can't do that anymore. I can't be missing 1am drops of Taylor teaming up with other scorned women to make their exes uncomfortable! For those who forget, Joe Jonas is an infamous ex boyfriend of Taylor's. He broke up with her over the phone when they were like, 18 or 19, and the rest was history. On the folklore album, she sings a line in a romantic song called Invisible String, referencing her growth when it came to Joe Jonas:
Cold was the steel of my axe to grindFor the boys who broke my heart Now I send their babies presents
After this came out, both Joe and Sophie posted about the gifts that Taylor had sent them for their newborn baby. A couple years later, on the recently released Fearless (Taylor's Version) rerecord, a song called "Mr Perfectly Fine" was included as one of the vault tracks, and is admittedly about Joe from back in the day. It goes as follows:
Hello, Mr. "Perfectly fine"How's your heart after breaking mine? Mr. "Always at the right place at the right time, " baby Hello Mr. "Casually cruel" Mr. "Everything revolves around you" I've been Ms. "Misery" since your goodbye And you're Mr. "Perfectly fine"
And Sophie posted it to her own story, saying it was a bop:
And, now, Taylor and Sophie team up against whatever the fuck PR machine bullshit that's churning out against her. I know everyone thinks it's crazy to compare present day Joe with early adolescent Joe, but remember - these people aren't normal. None of them went to real school, they've all been famous since they were teenagers, and I'm willing to bet they missed a few lessons in "not being an asshole" along the way. This includes Taylor and Sophie too. People have been hearing rumors about things that Sophie did, and I've been hearing equally compelling ones about how Joe is controlling and dismissive of Sophie's postpartum issues. We'll never know what actually went down! Or, maybe we will one day. Until then, my decision has been made - Taylor is Team Sophie, and so am I.