A Bunch of Medical Students Celebrate a Win by Their School's Volleyball Team by Storming the Court and Holding a Circle Jerk
There are few things that bring people together like cultural traditions and sports. And when you combine the two, it can be truly magical. And as much as I love a great pregame tradition like tailgating, the National Anthem, a military flyover or a first pitch, postgame celebrations are often where life truly becomes worth living.
Storming the court is obviously a great one. College players communing with the band is another. Back in the day we had a tradition of tearing down the goalposts in football. (Which once resulted in some imbeciles carrying them up Rte 1 after the Patriots clinched a playoff berth in the 1980s, only to find out what happens when thin-wall aluminum makes contact with low-hanging high tension wires.) Notre Dame singing the "Alma Mater" is a personal favorite. And in places like Yankee Stadium, you have the playing of "New York, New York," followed by the crowd all leaving together so they don't get mugged. Yes, there's nothing quite like a good, old fashioned, postgame tradition to make you feel like you're part of a community.
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But then again, every old postgame tradition was new at some point. They all had to start somewhere. And credit the future doctors and nurses at one school for trying to establish a new one. And should it catch on, it'll definitely be one we can call A Tradition Unlike Any Other:
Source - This is the bizarre moment a bevy of Brazilian medical students stormed a volleyball court and performed a group masturbation act following a women's match.
The Santo Amaro University (UNISA) male futsal players were initially spotted on the sidelines with their pants lowered to their ankles as the school's team started to celebrate its volleyball championship victory at São Camilo University.
The naked men then rushed the court all at once and paraded around they gym as they touched their genitals, much to the dismay of the volleyball players and fans who remained in the stands.
The incident, confirmed by São Camilo University, took place in April but the grotesque footage was made public for the first time Sunday evening.
Ah, to be young again, amirite? Those carefree days of college, when the possibilities are endless, your future is unlimited, and no hilarious stunt is too outrageous to not give it a shot. A 100 years ago or so, guys this age were seeing how many people they could fit into a phone booth or swallowing goldfish. Now it's whipping it out on a volleyball court and pulling a Jeffrey Toobin.
And why not? In a few years, they'll all be epidemiologists or general practitioners or thoracic surgeons, and they can look back on this and laugh. Maybe at a medical conference somewhere. Or in the middle of a triple bypass in the OR. "Say, remember that time at SCU when we hung brain on the court and all started rubbing one out? Those were the days..."
It should be noted that the report didn't mention whether or not these future medical professionals did it to completion. But I'm going to go out on a limb and say they didn't. Just because even when I was college age, I struggled to produce a stream at the horse trough urinals at a Red Sox game. A condition my friends and I referred to as "Stage Fright" or, more commonly, "Fenway Park Syndrome." A malady for which there is still no known cure. Expecting dozens of fellas to rush out onto the infield after a clinching a playoff series and whip up a batch under the lights is simply too big an ask.
Anyway, best of luck to these doctors in all their future endeavors. I'm sure the good people of Brazil are going to be in the best of hands. Just make sure they wash them first.