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Congresswoman Lauren Boebert's Handjob/Groping Incident At The Theater Happened On a FIRST DATE

Pool. Getty Images.

By now you've seen the video of Congresswoman Lauren Boebert and her date putting on a show during a musical performance of 'Beetlejuice.' In the event you live under a rock or just want to see it again, have at it. 

If that pops up as a storyline at the beginning of a porno you stop what you're doing and question things. Where is the line? How unrealistic are we getting these days? Nope, this is reality folks. Truly unbelievable behavior with kids in arms length of you. While on the topic though, prime Layla London might have been born for that role. That's neither here nor there. 

Anyways, TMZ caught up with the OTPHJ queen today and got some incredible information…

Goodness me, that was a FIRST DATE?!??! 

We tend to over-use the phrase on this forum, but this guy is Him. What on Earth was he saying pre-musical to get an over the pants hand job AND a full hand worth of boob like that on a first date? What happens if no one stops them?

Is it really just a free-for-all now out there? No more waiting a few dates and needing to earn it? Just show your appreciation for the arts and you get yours. Incredible. During my dating days I'd get inside my own head about simply going in for a kiss. This cat is rounding third with no regard for human life. 

Crazy thing about all of this judging from that interview is I feel like she's more upset and ashamed that he's a supporter of the opposite political party than the fact that they got caught on camera. Would love to see what this guy thinks and have him give a full breakdown. He might rename the Danger Zone after this footage. 

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P.S. Can't imagine what that feeling is gonna be like if you match with Boebert on a dating app in the future. Basically the adult version of finding a golden ticket in a Wonka bar.