Cue the Duckboats | Championship Collection for Banner 18SHOP HERE

Advertisement

A Buffalo Bills Fan Was "Found Naked, In A Hole, Covered In Human Excrement" Near Bills Stadium During Their Home Opener Sunday

USA Today - An unidentified football fan who was naked and "covered in human excrement" was discovered in a construction site hole near the Buffalo Bills home opener on Sunday. The extent of his injuries was a cut on his forehead, according to WBEN.

The fan was naked and covered in human excrement he had found in an on-site porta potty, a double whammy. As you can probably assume, he was under the influence of drugs and alcohol, a combo of LSD, cocaine, and marijuana.

Once the rescue team arrived on scene, it took approximately 20 minutes to get the fan out of the hole and to Erie County Medical Center, where he was treated for a short time before being transferred to Buffalo General. There was no mention of how long the man was trapped in the hole, although the thread does state that the first call concerning the man came in at 12:18 p.m. local time.

The man is still being evaluated and has been issued an appearance ticket in the Town of Orchard Park for criminal trespass.

This is a wild thread - 

To quote Vince Vaughn here, 

This guy was having himself a Sunday. I might be wrong, but last I checked, there's nothing illegal about that. So John Doe partook in a little too much LSD, coke, and weed (triple threat) and proceeded to get buck naked and hop over the parking lot fence to where they're building the Bills new stadium, got a little too excited and fell in. 

Of course the Bills leave their construction workers' porta potties full of shit and piss at the new stadium construction site. And in the hole our poor guy jumped into.

If anybody should be in trouble here it's the Bills. Not John Doe. 

If this guy was found covered in ketchup and mustard he'd be a local hero and featured in a mastercard commercial. Instead, he's being persecuted? 

This one is going to be tough for Bills mafia to top in the future.