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Somebody Needs To Be Thrown In Jail Over This Purple Cheesesteak In Orlando

One of my least favorite things that we do in Philly is constantly feel the need to shit on any other city attempting to make a cheesesteak. Don't get me wrong--we definitely perfected the cheesesteak here in Philadelphia. But at the end of the's just some shaved ribeye, melted cheese, and fried onions on a long roll. It's not like people are somehow incapable of making that delicious outside of the perimeters of the greater Philadelphia area. Yet for some reason we always lose our mind the moment someone from Ohio makes a cheesesteak with some green peppers on it. 

The fact of the matter is that anybody outside of Philly is capable of making an incredible cheesesteak, and we should be happy about that. Like this cheesesteak from Little Louie's in Asheville, NC for example. 

It looks incredible. If anyone from Philly tried that and had anything bad to say about it at all, they'd be a lying sack of shit. We really need to start celebrating the fact that the cheesesteak is branching out from Philly instead of trying to gatekeep the deliciousness that comes out of throwing some cheap meat and science experiment cheese together on a roll. 


This shit has gone WAY too far. These cheesesteak can fuck all the way off. 

Even without getting into the wildly unappetizing purple and black bun, that shit looks way more like some barely seasoned taco meat than anything. You can't make a cheesesteak with ground beef, but that seems to be exactly what's going on here. I personally don't have an issue with throwing banana peppers on a cheesesteak to add a little extra pop, but maybe leave the pickled jalapenos that have been sitting in the back of the refrigerator for the past 7 years off the sandwich. Also, am I going crazy here or is there not even a hint of cheese on that sandwich?

Like I said in the beginning of the blog, I truly have no qualms with other cities outside of Philly attempting to make cheesesteaks of their own. In fact, I think it's a good thing. The world would be a much better place if people in all corners of the world could wash their pains away with a thick ass cheesesteak on a Sunday afternoon. But this shit that they're serving at Orlando City SC games? That ain't no cheesesteak. That is a crime against humanity. And someone ought to spend the rest of their life behind bars for even serving that in the first place. 

Sidenote: I'd still eat it. No questions asked.