Wearing Your Sperm Shirt To The Game Is The Power Move Of The Century

Guess what ladies, your search for the perfect man is OVER. If he's wearing his sperm shirt to the game, he's ready to take that next step. This guy is there to watch football and impregnate your girl, and he's all out of football. He knows when a woman sees that shirt she gets in her womanly feelings. She starts thinking about her biological clock and all her friends who have had babies and how they always post them on IG and her ovaries get a major boner. It's the biggest green flag I've ever seen in my life. He's saying "hey, I'm here, let's get a 30-year fixed rate mortgage and alternate whose family we spend Thanksgiving with. Yeah I know my parents can be a bit much but they mean well, plus my mom does make the better mashed potatoes." That shirt says it all.

Funny enough though, this isn't even the horniest thing to happen at a football game yesterday. In case you missed it, this man at the Lions game was hurtin for a squirtin, I guess Jared Goff just does that to people. 

It all begs the question, did something happen where football fans are completely insane now? Are we the ones with CTE? Or are we just L-I-V-I-N? What a week 2 of absolute debauchery in the stands of football games. 

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God I love the NFL.