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Cardinals Head Coach Jonathan Gannon Is Putting On A Free Clinic In Tanking

Norm Hall. Getty Images.

Tanking in professional sports has gotten a bad rap over the years. The fact of the matter is that until the draft formats change to something that doesn't automatically award teams for being complete dog shit, tanking is going to happen. Some teams have no other choice but to either tank for a few seasons, or waste the next 30 years in perpetual mediocrity. The only way to get rid of tanking in sports is if you change up the order of the draft. Something along the lines of reversing the order of the draft among the teams that don't make the playoffs. I'm sure there's a better solution than that, but the point remains the same--if you are automatically going to give the 1st overall pick to the team that comes in last place every year, then why wouldn't dog shit teams just punt on the entire season and tank their way to landing a franchise-altering talent?

Now even though there are plenty of reasons for why teams should tank in the NFL, it's still…frowned upon I guess. There's a fine line you have to walk to be able to successfully pull it off. There's a certain art to losing a shit ton of games throughout the course of the season without making it blatantly obvious that you're actually trying to lose those games. And by god, Jonathan Gannon has perfected the craft. 

It's only been two games so far this season, but this has been mastery at its finest. In each of the Cardinals first two games of the year, they've taken a lead into halftime. In fact, they had a lead heading into the 4th quarter of both those games. They were up 16-10 against the Commanders heading into the 4th, and yesterday they were up 28-7 midway through the 3rd against the Giants. That right there is the perfect defense Gannon and the Cardinals need against any claims that they're actively tanking. It's not like they're going out there and getting shit pumped from start to finish. 

But that's when Johnny Ganns hits everybody with the ol' razzle dazzle. Nobody makes a halftime adjustment as well as this man does. He brings those fellas back into the locker room after halftime, and then fires them up with one of his patented rah rah speeches. 

With just one simple halftime speech, he's able to destroy any and all momentum his team had building in the first half. It's done. It's over. They could be up by 50 points and they'd still come out and get destroyed in the 2nd half. The Cardinals have been outscored 27-0 in the 4th quarter through 2 games so far this year. I'd expect that number to be damn near 200-3 by the end of the season. Because that's the kind of fire that Jonathan Gannon can provide to a tank. 

That's what this man was put on this Earth to do. Play some damn good ball in the 1st half, weird everybody out by talking like a robot with low batteries in the locker room during halftime, come out and get pummeled in the 4th quarter to go 1-16 this year. That 1st overall pick is as good as theirs. We're all witness to a free masterclass in tanking.