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The Chicago Bears Need To Leave Soldier Field So I Can Go To Corland's Garage More Often

The Bears need to get the fuck out of Soldier Field pronto. Everybody knows that as much as you know George McCaskey doesn't have his finger on the pulse. As much as you know the boys' backs are up against the wall right now. As much as you know anything about anything - you know Soldier Field is out and Arlington Heights is in. 

With that spirit, I went to Arlington Heights recently to get a lay of the land. And oviously that means lunch and a couple ice cold heyhowyadoins at the neighborhood spot Cortland's Garage and it did not disappoint. 

I love a fuckin garage - me, Carl

I ran into a number of friends from college. A NUMBER. Specifically, 4. That's Arlington Heights when you think about it. A place to get together and reunite. A center stomping grounds for the older kids on the block combatting suburban sprawl. 

The Bears are a short time away from declaring it home. Jersey Jerry is fixing up that dental office. Stephen Cheah is looking for a ride to work. It's really coming together in the northern suburbs and that's honestly no joke. 

I myself just bought a house this summer. Arlington Heights was on a short list for a lot of sensible reasons. GREAT fuckin community of people. Start there, end there. But you also got solid schools, consistent post WW2 American architecture up and down the grid. A world class metro-suburban downtown retail experience. Public transit centrally located and don't get me started on the safety. Alrington Heights brings it all. 

Ultimately though I went off the grid. Well & septic, unincorporated Kane County. Quite literally the middle of the woods. More on that later though because I don't want to detract from this outstanding video shot by Harry Bogle, edited by that social terrorist Zuppe. All fine work by the boys. 

The Chicago Bears? 

Not so much. 

Talk about your doors getting blown THE FUCK off day 1 at home by your nemesis. 

Did anybody see it coming? 

Probably Mitch. 

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