4th of July Collection | Now Available at the Barstool StoreSHOP HERE

Advertisement

Astrophysics Nerd Reports a "Mysterious Crater" Found on Beach Created by "Cosmic Event", Turns Out it Was Just A Couple Dudes Who Dug A Hole

This is too good. I stumbled upon that TikTok while pooping at work this morning. I assumed it was an old story, or even possibly something made up. Like the dudes dug a similar looking hole after that story dropped and cut the video to make it look like they dug the asteroid hole. But nope. The story is new, and this "astrophysics enthusiast" is just an idiot. 

NY Post - An Irish television station broadcast a news segment about a “mysterious crater” discovered at a local beach, suggesting it could be evidence of a “once-in-a-lifetime cosmic event.”

But the station needed to correct course one day later and reported in a follow-up segment that the so-called “cosmic crater” was just a hole some folks dug in the sand.

What an all-time moment for the two Irish lads who decided to dig a hole on the beach on day. That has to be the best moment of their lives. I don't know what could beat it. You and your pal get drunk on the beach, dig a splendid hole with your cute little sand shovels, then the next day you're sitting at home hungover watching Irish news and you see this. A very serious, very real news report with a man standing next to your hole using big science words, declaring that a very normal beach rock has "scorch marks" on it, meaning the only logical explanation is that this perfectly round hole (or "crater") was caused by a asteroid that rained down from outer space. 

That's cause for celebration. I'd have given a personal call to every contact in my phonebook to tell them exactly what I've done. It's too good of a story to not share the video with every person you've ever met, or ever will meet for the rest of your life.

Space people are getting way too trigger happy when it comes to declaring extraterrestrial occurrences. It's like they find any random thing, then bend over backwards to fit any sort explanation that involves space or aliens. 

Aliens are hot in the streets lately. I know this beach hole isn't really about "aliens", but it's alien adjacent. Everyone wants a piece of the action. Astrophysicists (or in this case astrophysics enthusiasts) must be so bored. There's nothing in the world they want more than to make any sort of discovery that people give a shit about. I'm sure 99% of them don't make a single one in their lifetime. So when this guy came across a perfectly round hole on the beach that contained a type of rock he didn't immediately recognize, his brain when straight to asteroid, and there was nothing that was going to convince him otherwise.

Big time props to these the two Irish lads who dug the hole. An incredible accomplishment. And thoughts and prayers to astrophysics enthusiast Dave Kennedy. You were flying so high. You got real news station to take you seriously, probably for the first time ever. I bet your family was so proud. Then two drunk dudes come from over the dop with a video of them crawling around in the sand digging in the hole like school children. Rough scene for Dave.