No idea if people will find this as funny as I do, but I laughed out loud at this when it came across my desk last night. For those who aren't caught up on the Torey Lanez situation, which I'm assuming is roughly 90% of America, he's the guy who got in an argument with rapper Megan The Stallion, and ended up firing a gun at her feet and yelled, "Dance bitch!."
Don't laugh at that. There's nothing funny about that. But what happened yesterday at court is good for a laugh. Torey Lanez has already been sentenced to 10 years in prison. He is however appealing those charges. He's crying fake news. Yesterday, he had an appearance in court to determine whether or not he would be allowed bail as he appeals his felony convictions. Honestly, I didn't even know that was something that could happen, but apparently his lawyers thought he had a shot at it (no pun intended).
So about the lawyer. A bit of a good news bad news situation there. Bad news is he didn't show up to court yesterday. Personally, if Baez Law Firm told me, "hey we think there's a chance you could get bail ahead of your appeal", when judgement day finally arrives, I would expect him to be there. But that's just me. Maybe Torey Lanez didn't pay his appearance fee. Who knows.
On the bright side, Baez Law Firm sent their heartfelt thoughts and prayers. Via their OFFICIAL Instagram account no less.
A thoughts and prayers from your lawyer's social media account in lieu of showing up to court is hysterical.
"Bad news Torey, I have a prior commitment. My son has a his first football practice today and I promised my family I would be involved in his life this year. I'm sure you understand. But don't worry, I got a little something up my sleeve that I think will be just as effective as representing you in front of a judge."
But in Baez defense, I went to his Instagram page, and he's got a nice little online presence.
36k followers is nothing to sneeze at. Everyone knows that the more followers you have the more likely god is to answer your thoughts and prayers. That's how the world works. I'm sure Torey Lanez would have preferred his lawyer's physical presence in the court room, but give him some credit. At least he didn't sit back and do nothing. He posted a hell of an Instagram story.
Unfortunately the public T's & P's weren't enough. Torey Lanez was denied bail. Good try, good effort Baez Law Firm. But it's back to jail bitch.