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Guess That City: A Shirtless Cyclist Rode His Bike Directly Into Traffic And Then Directly Into A Naked Man Who Proceeded To Beat The Shit Out Of Him

I'll let everyone rewatch this video and collect their thoughts before putting their final answer in. You have 30 seconds.

And the answer is...

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PORTLAND, OREGON!!!

I admittedly don't know much about Portland, yet them being the answer to this question doesn't surprise me since they were one of the heavy favorites in the clubhouse behind the obvious front runner, New York City. Some fun facts about Portland include that it is home to the world's smallest park (0.29 square meters), its name was decided by coin flip (with the other choice being Boston, which would've been super confusing), and they have the most fitting slogan for a city that occasionally goes viral for shit like this.

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It is also home to the most microbreweries per capita than anywhere in the world, which I imagine helps allow their slogan to live on and videos like this to be possible. 

I can't believe Dame Lillard willingly requested a trade away from such an entertaining place and caused NBA Twitter to stop washing his balls for playing out his contract for a place that drafted him then paid him handsomely after both sides agreed on a massive contract. Sure Miami has South Beach and a coaching staff that can take a bunch of riff raff to the Finals when led by a couple of stars. But they don't have the crazy naked guy at the Killer Burger ready to fight any dirty cyclist that wants to engage in fisticuffs because he has no regard for human life (said in Kevin Harland's voice), be it his own or anyone else's.

Thinks about all the times I've visited Miami

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Actually there is definitely similar crazy shit going on somewhere in the diseased tip of America's penis. You just don't think about it because of all the beaches and rich people. Nonetheless, best of luck to Dame wherever he lands and the good people of Portland for whatever content they get up on this blog next.