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Koala Bear Wants A Dumb Bitch To Mind Her Own Damn Business When He's Chillin On The Road While Riddled With Chlamydia

I have to admit something to you all. Even though my headline said that this lady was a dumb bitch, I dont believe that at all. In fact, I think she's probably a sweetheart who has never had the chance to be in close range and wanted to hug and snuggle one of god's cutest little creatures. It's hard to not love the look of a koala bear. Those little noses 

Giphy Images.

When I see baby koala's I kinda wanna have my own little pouch to carry one in. I'd give it all kinds of treats. I wonder if they like gummy bears. Imagine heading to a local park with a baby joey in your pouch. You pull that cute little baby out and start to feed it the gummy bears. 

"Here ya go, Kenny. Here's a gummy bear for ya. I know you like the green ones the best because they look like your beloved eucalyptus leaves."

I hope the gummy bears dont give him diarrhea. 

Anyway, it's hard to blame this lady for trying to pet/rescue/love with her whole heart a koala bear but we never know what kinda day one of these cuties is having. What if it is fresh off the heels of a chlamydia diagnosis?  

"Chaps! Chaps! How do these bad boys get chlamydia? Are they little sluts that are rubbing and jerking their dicks and pussies in the trees until some other little koala comes climbing up to their branch? Do they get it from oral stuff or regular koala fucking?"

Great question. 

Koalas getting chlamydia is not because of promiscuous relationships, like humans or other animals might have. It's actually a bit different.

Koalas get chlamydia because of a special type of bacteria called Chlamydia pecorum. This bacteria can make koalas sick, just like how some bacteria can make people sick. It's not from being slutty. I promise. In fact, it's offensive to say that koalas are sluts (even when the evidence suggests that some just might be little bear whores.)

Anyway, as always, safety is paramount when you're on the side of the road in Australia and trying to rescue a wild animal but I aint gonna spend any more time on it because every 90 days a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in North Queensland.