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Browns Beat The Piss Out Of The Bengals As Joe Burrow Moves To 0-4 All-Time In Cleveland

I'll give the Browns some praise in a moment, but hear me out: Joe Burrow sold his soul in some sort of way in order to win the AFC North, make AFC Championship Games, and Super Bowls by trading in the ability to ever win in Cleveland.

The fact he is 0-4 all-time in Cleveland Browns Stadium is sort of baffling.

Anyway, the Browns beat the fuck out of the Bengals and it absolutely ruled so hard.

They didn't even play that well. Deshaun Watson was off for most of the game (NOTE: It was raining sideways at times, but ehhh...), and threw a tough interception that looked abysmal before we knew that it was tipped.

But he also made up for it with a rushing touchdown (on a great play design), followed for a back-breaking touchdown pass to seal the deal...

The play of the day, though, was absolutely this beast sack from Myles Garrett on 4th Down to effectively end the game.

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BIG TAKEAWAYS FROM THE BROWNS' WIN:

- The Jim Schwartz-led defense looked fantastic, they're the MVP of the game
(sorry for the Atlanta Hawks-style team MVP award)

- Elijah Moore is electric

- This game should've been over sooner, as the Browns had some miscues on offense, including a tough fumble while driving early in the game

- Watson looked better than last season, but still seemed way too amped up, with a bunch of balls skipping to wide-open receivers… but there were way more good signs than you saw in his bad games last year… still cautiously optimistic

- Nick Chubb is really fucking good

- The Browns start 1-0 in back-to-back seasons for the first time since 1993 & 1994

- The Browns win their first Week 1 home opener since 2004

What a fucking start. Go Browns.