Surviving Barstool | Ep. 4 Premieres Monday (12/4) at 8PM ETWATCH EP. 1-3 NOW

Hundreds Of Cleveland Fans Camped Out Overnight Waiting To Tailgate Because This Is Finally The Browns Year

I fucking love this fan base and I fucking love this city. Find me a group of people that adore something so disgusting and so putrid and so awful more than Clevelanders adore their Browns. This team has never played in a Super Bowl. This team is 127-258-1 since returning to Cleveland, which for you non-mathematicians at home is a 33% win rate. They have had THREE winning seasons and TWELVE head coaches since they came back. I can't even count the amount of quarterbacks we've started anymore. There is literally not a more embarrassing professional franchise in sports history than the Cleveland Browns, but the fans still show up every single year and every single game. And finally, after all of these years of torture, we are all about to be rewarded for our pain and suffering. They say that those who stay will be champions, and folks, this is the Cleveland Browns year. 

In all seriousness, I don't understand how this team doesn't succeed this season. You are all blinded by the jerseys and helmets, but I need you to look at the pure TALENT on this roster. If everyone threw all of their players back into a draft and the league restarted, I would wager a large amount of money that the Browns average draft position would be substantially lower than any other team in the league. Think about it: Myles Garrett would be the #1 DE off the board. Nick Chubb would be the #1 RB. Deshaun Watson would be a Top 5 QB. Denzel Ward would be a Top 3 CB. Joel Bitonio is the #1 Guard and our Offensive Line is the best in the league, just ask Madden. And I'll be realistic, I don't have Amari Cooper as a Top 5 WR but I do have our overall receiving room as Top 5 in the NFL, hands down. Amari Cooper, Elijah Moore, Donovan Peoples-Jones, Marquise Goodwin, Cedric Tillman, David Bell, David Njoku......Jesus, we have more weapons than the United States military! 

The fact of the matter is that this team has every single thing it needs to win. The only question mark I have is this god damn head coach of ours. I have such a love/hate relationship with Kevin Stefanski. On one hand, I still think he's a very intelligent head coach with an ability to call a very efficient offense. On the other hand, I think he thinks he's a very intelligent head coach that needs to outsmart everyone. We don't need to outsmart anyone this year. Just run the best running back in the league, and let the best QB in the league in 2020, who says he is now better than he was in 2020, make plays.

The hairs on my arm are standing up from reading that. For the first time in three decades, we finally have a QB1.

I have our floor as 11-6 if one of the other AFC North teams emerge as one of the best in football, and I have our ceiling as Super Bowl Champions. Anyone who disagrees is just a hater. And anyone who doesn't take the Browns as HOME DOGS in their season opener today against the Bengals is a moron.

A healthy Joe Burrow is 1-4 vs. the Browns. I shudder to think what a hobbled Joe Burrow is going to look like! Especially when we've got an angry Myles Garrett (who we know is capable of murder) on our hands...

RIP Joe Burrow. Should've just listened to Jamar Chase and sat out Week 1…..