Advertisement

The Most Romantic Place On Earth: The Lines At Six Flags Great America

That little mention of PDA by Danny Conrad was like a time machine in my brain. Going to Six Flags: Great America in Gurnee, IL was one of the best days you could possibly have as a middle schooler in suburban Chicago. 8th grade physics class in the Spring was basically just a countdown to your field trip to Great America. The morning you get to school there is a palpable buzz in the air. No homework due, no tests to come, not a backpack to be found. You see a long trail of yellow buses parked all the way to the street and you know you're in for a day. The entire grade is heading to Six Flags. 

Something happens when you get there. You know you're on your own. Just need to be back to the bus by 3pm. There are teachers and chaperones going, but that park with that many kids...they can't keep the dogs on the leash. Once you pass the through the gates it's all over. You get that combination of funnel cake, adrenaline, and pubescent hormones combined and all of a sudden there is love in the air. That combo just leads to the biggest, longest, continuous public makeouts ever witnessed in human history. You're oozing sweat from the heat on an unseasonably warm day in May and you've got the nervous sweats and Caitlyn is carrying the stuffed Bugs Bunny you won her by squirting a clown in the mouth with a water pistol better than any of the other 6 dinks sitting at that carnival game. You see that the wait time is an estimated 50 minutes for Raging Bull, but you don't give a fuck. You and Caitlyn just accidentally touched hands while leaning up against the guardrails. You lock eyes and then lips. You're about to have cotton mouth and chapped lips as you inch your way towards the roller coaster. The anticipation. The hand-holding. The boldness of a public makeout surrounded by dozens of strangers and in eye shot of friends. 8th graders made out in those line as if they had a cloak of invisibility around them. Just horny without a care in the world. By the time you get back to the bus everyone is whispering and pointing. You smirk at your buddies getting on the bus ahead of you in line. Everyone knows. Gossip city

Six Flags was the makeout capital of the world. The public horniness can't be matched anywhere except for like Stage Coach Music Festival or Burning Man (I think, I still don't know exactly what goes on at either of those places). Now if I am being honest, I was not one making out in line. I was small and awkward. I wouldn't hit puberty for another 3 years. I was the one who would let out a little cough steeped in jealousy and annoyance as Tanner and Caitlynn continued to suck face even though the line had moved 10 paces in front of them. That sucked. Still a great day overall with the fellas, the rides, the games, the fake day of school, and fun bus ride. Making out would've been cool though. One of those things you can never get back. Can't make out as an adult.