It's not often that I'm taken aback by a video involving diarrhea. I have been training my entire life to be unphased by diarrhea. It doesnt matter if it was when I was a child and ate nearly an entire large bag of dark chocolate chips, or when I was in a portajohn in Fallujah, or just as the father of two kids. I've seen some shit. Lots of it.
I wasn't prepared for this video though. This was an absolute nightmare situation for everyone involved. This isn't the type of shit that you just accidentally let slip on a heavy fart. It's far from that. This is the kinda shit that people agonize over. You sit there in your shitty little seat while being surrounded by nothing but fats. Youre uncomfortable, squirming, and ready to bust. You start sweating your dick off because the river inside that is being held back by just a mere flap of round skin that has spokes on it which cannot hold that tide back much longer. That skin is weak. It's frail. It's fragile, and sometimes, it's the only thing that's damming the river within. That butthole is but a mere dookie dingy when you really need a yacht of ass to float that bile bayou.
When the levee breaks, all hell breaks loose. That's what happened here. It's a classic pressure cooker situation. The power of the poop is ready to run like an avalanche and the only thing that can stop the force is the ground and the very thin carpet in the aisle which makes splashback a sure thing.
So what do you do?
If you're the poop haver, you QUICKLY establish a shit corner. Sometimes it can be in an exit seat. Sometimes it can be in the back galley. Sometimes it can be in an overhead storage bin but, it can NEVER be in the aisle while running around. You can't just leave brown snail trails all over the fuckin joint. You can't. Why?
Because you create an international incident that is the talk of the internet for a few days. You make other poor passengers sit there while wanting to puke their brains out. Honestly, how that didn't happen is beyond me. I just simply do not get it. How did no one puke? If I shit all over the plane and nobody barfed, that would be a pretty good day for me. If I was on the plane where someone shit water, I would puke. Even if I didn't need to puke, I would puke my guts up just to shame the diarrhea dude. You cant let someone get away with that. You gotta puke.
While that person is shitting liquid in the aisle and preventing me from getting a stroopwafel, I puke. I stand up and scream, "IM PUKING FROM YOUR SHIT! YOUR SHIT ON THIS PLANE IS MAKING ME FUCKING PUKE!" If you dont do that... if you dont stand up and scream that you're puking, the diarrhea haver will think that his behavior is koser. I assure you that diarrhea in the middle of the aisle is haram and it makes both the plane and our souls unclean.
Anyway, that was a lot of diarrhea.
By the way, with all that being said, I hope the person with demon ass is feeling better. No one wants to go viral like this especially if I'm gonna blog about it. Do you know how fucked up the diarrhea situation has to be in order for it to make me bat an eye? Dire. Fuckin dire. Get well soon, prince.
PS: I saw Karim blogged it too. Dont care. Double blogs are back.