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This Escaped Convicted Murderer In The Philly Suburbs Is Straight Up Toying With The Authorities

PA - Escaped convict Danelo Cavalcante was spotted inside a property in Pennsylvania trying to intimidate the owner who immediately called authorities. The Brazilian felon, 34, escaped from Chester County maximum security prison on Thursday morning and was last spotted at Longwood Gardens, East Marlborough Township, on Monday night. Authorities confirmed that the Pennsylvania State Police are being assisted in the manhunt for the convicted killer by the FBI, as two school districts canceled classes. Cavalcante was handed a life sentence two weeks ago for the April 2021 murder of his ex-girlfriend Débora Brandao, 34, a mother of two children. He was spotted in a home in Pocopson township on Friday, where he 'flicked the lights' at the owner before stealing some food items. 

Um...excuse me? If countless nights of falling asleep to the Discovery ID channel has taught me anything is it's basically impossible in 2023 America to escape from prison and not be caught. ESPECIALLY if you're a convicted murderer who is on the loose in a relatively comfortable suburban area like Chester County, PA. The Cops/Feds/US Marshalls/Fuzz/Bounty Hunters should all be on you like white on rice almost immediately. 

So...how exactly is this 5ft tall scumbag evading everyone for going on 5+ days? 

Giphy Images.

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HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!?!?!?! This isn't Dr. Richard Kimble using his Mensa-level intelligence to stay one step away from the authorities. This motherfucker is galavanting around LONGWOOD GARDENS of all places. The dude is a convicted murderer on the lamb and is somehow looking less stressed than a Dad of 2 waiting in line there during Christmas season. 

Figure it out, PA. And I'm not just saying that because my entire family lives within 20 miles of this escaped felon. More for pride's sake. You can't have this guy just ducking and jiving the authorities while playing with the lights in homes and making sandwiches. Have some respect for yourselves and pinch this sack of shit. 

PS - The Fugitive is such an all-time great movie. One of those perfect "Oh, this is on again?" movies you start watching for 2 min and all of a sudden Harrison and Tommy Lee and yaking it up in the back of the undercover car. Definitely not Hinkie.