"Do you guys ever talk about anything besides yourselves?" "We want more Keegs and less sports." "Where's Dave to discuss the most recent 19 year old TikTok relationship drama?" "Give us another 1500 word Castellani blog about the Detroit Tigers"
These are just some of the things I read on the daily basis when trying to figure out what the blog readers want. You're deprived of the content you have so longly ached for. So this morning when I saw Klemmer walking around with his phone opened wide to the Notes app, I cracked a smile. In a world of TikToks and video content, Klemmer refuses to let the written word die. He came right over to me and Bald Paul (E11EVEN Miami is probably under renovation) and asked us what we thought about the upcoming NFL season. I'm so used to our social media employees coming up and asking shit like "would you rather have dinner with Dave Portnoy or $500,000" or "How many ovaries does a woman have" for some stupid ass TikTok video. Not on Klemmer's watch. He's putting pen to paper like prime Ernest Hemingway. You owe him a click in like 6 days when he finishes writing 400 words.
Very underrated part of the photo of Klemmer furiously looking at his notes for his upcoming masterpiece is Big Ev scrolling on a tablet. It's been like three years and the guy still hasn't gotten a laptop. He's not a computer guy:
He's not a computer guy. He's a vodka guy. This is what will keep Barstool NYC alive. Not comedy or whatever they'll try and spin on you. Rico walking around asking for a raise to Gaz who hasn't been here in months. General Smitty coming in the one day Dave isn't here after missing every day he was. Joey Camasta doing a full makeup set on livestream in the middle of the office. That's the DNA of this office without our lord-in-coffee Big Cat.
In the process of writing this blog, Nate came over worried no one would want a blog about a blog. I think there's far worse to write about. If I read you some of the drafts that were about to be published, like an illiterate Marty Mush piece, or Nicky Smokes falling for the most obvious bait of all time, you'd agree with me too. I've got a responsibility as the #1 blogger at Barstool SPORTS and that's to provide pageviews. If this is just one blog out of forty that I do this week, then consider us lucky men and women.
And thank you to Klemmer for giving a voice to the voiceless. NFL preview of the century coming soon. I'll leave you with an example of what happens when we give the rock to Klemmer and let him cook.