If I had the option to be hit by a train or rewatch last night's Gators game, I would pick the train. What I saw last night was a disgrace to college football. I don't know what they were doing in training camp, but it definitely wasn't making them better.
I never went into this season thinking Florida could play for a national championship, but I did think they could beat the Helen Keller University School of Blind and Deaf. I don't even think they can do that. Heck, the Helen Keller Brailles might be able to score just off penalties alone! Every head coach in the country should show their team last night's game just to motivate their players to not look like a bunch of losers. I've never seen a more undisciplined team than last night. It was atrocious.
In the first half alone, they had THREE false starts on crucial plays of the game: a 3rd and 1 false start, a 3rd and short false start, and a 4th and 1 false start. You just can't win football games like that.
Maybe our coach needs to start dipping tobacco. When I was in high school, anytime we jumped offsides, my coach would run over and chew us out. It wasn't the chewing out that was bad; it was that he packed such a fat lip that his dip spit would be all over your face by the time he was done. The smell alone was enough to keep us onside for the rest of the year. Maybe Florida should do the same.
Oh, I almost forgot! This one gets me every time. I never knew this was a thing, but the Florida Gators were so bad yesterday that they taught me something new! It was 4th and 3, Utah was getting ready to punt the ball back to the Gators. The punt was a thing of beauty and landed inside the 5-yard line like every other punt he kicked that night. The Gators' returner waved for a fair catch, and I'm thinking to myself all is well, it's time to make a run. Then I see this big, bright yellow flag flying in the air like the sun on a summer morning, and I'm thinking to myself, there ain't no way this is on us. The referee walks to the middle of the field, looks at the camera for everyone on national TV to see (unless you have Spectrum), and says, 'Penalty on the defense, two players were wearing the #3, 5-yard penalty, automatic first down.' ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! How is that even a thing? And even if it is a thing, how do you let that happen?
The Gators couldn't run the ball against a 7-year-old flag football team last night. You have to go out of your way to run the ball 21 times and finish the game with 13 rushing yards. I'm not good at math, but I know those numbers are terrible. As for Graham Mertz. Dude, what are you doing with your chinstrap? Just leave it strapped! I've never seen anything like it in my life. After every play, he unstraps the left buckle and then re-buckles it before the snap. Tell me you’re nervous without telling me you're nervous. Brother, you are not Aaron Rodgers. You wear a Riddell hard cap chin strap; he wears a one-button cloth chin strap. There are levels to this.
Overall, I thought Mertz played an average game. He made some great throws and also some bad ones. The offensive line didn't do him any favors either. Outside of his chinstrap superstition, the only thing that really bothers me about Mertz is his jersey number. No Florida player should ever wear the number 15 again, especially a quarterback! It's disrespectful to Tim Tebow. Richardson did it last year, and now it's Mertz. Despite having all the talent in the world, Richardson couldn't get Florida back on track, and based on what I saw last night, Mertz won't either. Maybe when DJ Lagway comes next year, but until then, I guess strap in and try not to die on the ride.