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Grading Dave Portnoy vs. The Big Leaguers Fantasy Draft

Today was one of the worst days in Barstool history with about 100 people being let go. It's an awful truth, but the reality is, the Pirate Ship sails on. And when the founder of the company has a scheduled Fantasy Draft with 11 other Major League Teams, most of which have an extremely rare off-day, you can't reschedule the fantasy draft. Well, that much at least. We had a one hour shift in time due to a family commitment from a guy. Once that was approved across the board we were good to go.

I created some Draft card and as a Fantasy Expert myself, I'll dish out the Draft Grades. But of course before we grade, we've got to know the scoring and settings:

Scoring System: 6 points per Passing TD, 1.0 PPR, 1.0 point for every 10 yards receiving, 10 yards rushing, and 25 yards passing.

Roster Size: 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 FLEX (RB, WR, TE), 1 TE, 1 K, 1 DST, 6 Bench Spots

We'll start in order from 1st pick - 12th.

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We Are Phamily: B+

This is a strong team top to bottom. I honestly don't love Justin Jefferson at #1 overall in a PPR league. As the Zero-RB guy, it's tough to admit, but I would've went Christian McCaffrey here. He's my #1 overall player and in PPR I feel like he's a slam dunk. That being said, this is more risk adverse as CMC is an oft-injured guy. Waddle is good value at #24, but I don't love Jahmyr Gibbs at #25 to start off the 3rd round. He's my 24th overall RB. But these guys did play to the format of points per reception. Because Gibbs, Breece Hall (who I LOVE at #48) and their other RBs outside of Cam Akers catch passes in bunches. Good depth with D'Andre Swift and De'Von Achane that are worth fliers in crowded backfields. There was also a run on QBs early with Patrick Mahomes going as early as Round 2 and I like the value with Justin Herbert in the 5th. He is back healthy and could throw 40 TDs this year which will be great for 6-point passing TDs. 

Dumb Jocs: C-

Dave did not use my assistance this year and that's clear with his execution of The Faulk Strategy, which actually has similar ideals as the Zero RB Strategy, but chooses to overload on RBs early.

The most vital guideline to the Faulk strategy is selecting three running backs in the first three rounds. Not only does the running back position lack great depth, but it is also the skill position where the most injuries are suffered - Michael Fabiano (2003)

That being said, McCaffrey somehow is a steal at #2 overall. I am not a big Joe Mixon guy. He had only two 100+ yard games last year, but he did catch a career-high 60 passes. Dave will need more of that and a few more 100 yard games for that pick to pay off. I'm also not a Rhamondre Stevenson guy, but more because I don't think New England will be very good, but obviously Dave wasn't going to see eye to four eyes with me on that. But Stevenson is a guy that catches passes, having caught 69 (nice!) last year, so that helps a lot in PPR. Can he get into the end zone more than six times this year? Zeke's role in the offense is unknown publicly at the moment. I actually admire the George Pickens selection at #47. I think he has a monster year and Dave believes his convictions. Mike Williams is also another big-bodied TD scorer and plays in a dynamic offense. When healthy he is a very good WR2. Kyle Pitts is a fantasy mystery and he could be TE2 this year if Atlanta actually passes the ball, but they didn't much last year. Daniel Jones QB1 isn't ideal and where I think this Draft falls apart for me is the Cole Kmet selection at #112. I get it's an 11th round pick, but Dave was debating between Kmet and Tua Tagovailoa and given that Jones was QB1, I'd much rather have Tua there. At least then he could play the matchups. For this team to make a postseason run Dave will need a big year from Daniel Jones. I do like worthy fliers late with Raheem Mostert and Deuce Vaughn. I also know Arizona is terrible but someone will have to catch passes, so I'm not as down on the Hollywood Brown pick as Dave.

Also, credit to Dave for simply drafting today. He's not the biggest fantasy football guy and it was obviously a nutso day. He was juggling the layoff news breaking, Barstool Radio, and this draft, so kudos on that.

The Kid: B-

I am a Tyreek Hill over Ja'Marr Chase guy, but it's very close. Chase can put it in the paint a bit more, so I think he's good at #3. I'm not as big on Josh Jacobs as I think it'll be difficult for him to replicate his 2022 where he led the NFL in rushing. Jalen Hurts goes to an Eagles fan during the run on QBs and I don't think plays to the scoring system as much with 6-point passing TDs. Darren Waller was also a little early, but I do like both DJ Moore and Mike Evans at #51 and #70 which helps even things out. What I'd be worried about is both Evans and Gabe Davis, who may both be rotating as starters at FLEX are boom or bust guys which will be a managerial decision each week. I also would've liked to see some more fliers later instead of a backup QB and backup TE. But Zach Charbonnet could pop if Trout has the patience and Kenny Gainwell is sneaky value in a PPR league. Solid, well rounded squad despite my nitpickings. 

Tua Girls 1 Cup: B+

Mike Napoli understood the assignment. He showed you that with Austin Ekeler at #4 overall who in PPR leagues, is a cheat code at RB. Coming off a 107 catch season, being in an explosive offense, and having led the NFL in TDs the past two years, the only concern with him is age (28). The rest of his RBs can catch passes as well so I like the versatility in that group. I'm not as high on Davante Adams this year, but 180 targets is hard to ignore. Even if the QB play is shotty, he's going to see a ton of targets. Mark Andrews gives him a leg up at TE and it's not a deep pool so I don't mind that. Tyler Lockett is ALWAYS underrated so I like him in the 5th. Terry McLaurin is a bit nicked up now, but could be a steal in the 6th. But I really like the back-to-back QB picks with Tua Tagovailoa and Kirk Cousins. Both are low end QB1s and Nap can now start his signal caller based on matchup. 

Wil's Football Team: C+

The defending champ started off strong with Travis Kelce at #5 overall. I love this pick in PPR as Kelce is a full six points better than TE2 which is a massive advantage. But I like this draft a lot less after there. Josh Allen is consistent as heck with QB1, QB1, & QB2 finishes the last three years, but #20 is awfully high for a QB. I am not as high on DK Metcalf just because Seattle only has one ball and there are a lot of mouths to feed. DeAndre Hopkins was a puzzling pick at #44 and may be my least favorite in the entire draft as he is my WR #37. But the reigning champ had some picks I do like with Javonte Williams at #68, which is a steal. He only played four games last year but was dynamite in those games and is RB1 in Denver. Jamaal Williams at #101 also has big potential with Alvin Kamara being suspended three games in addition to likely being the team's goalline back. 

Tyreeky Blinders: A-

Tyreek Hill is a best case scenario at #6. In PPR I would separate a top six from the rest of the field. Hill is known as a field stretcher, but he had 119 catches on a whopping 170 targets last year too. If Tua can stay healthy, that number may rise. Chris Olave is a bit rich for me at #19, but I like Najee Harris at #30. Justin Fields was a bit of a misstep in my opinion at #43. It's early for QBs and I would've much rather had Justin Herbert in 6-point passing TD leagues. If this were 4-point passing TD leagues, I could certainly see the argument for Fields, but he'll need a big year from my guy, Just1no to justify that slot. George Kittle has big time BOOM potential as he finished with 7 TDs in his final 4 games last season. James Cook is solid value in the 6th round and he's got some really good pass catching prowess. Quentin Johnston is a good flier in the 9th round with potential to step into a WR2 spot if one of his oft-injured leads get gimpy again. But I love the Deon Jackson pick in the 12th round and is my favorite of Manny's draft. With the Jonathan Taylor situation being murky and Zack Moss having a broken arm and his Week 1 status in doubt, Jackson steps into a great spot and is a PPR dynamo. With the Colts likely to pass to RBs often I love the value here at #139. Very good draft from Manny.

Kupp My Butker: A-

The new guys in the league came on STRONG in their first draft. While I'm not a huge Cooper Kupp guy this season, he is a monster in PPR. A.J. Brown has major potential and I am buying all the Amari Cooper stock this season.

Travis Etienne is a homerun pick in my opinion in the 3rd round. I would've taken him at #18, so to get him some 13 picks later is outstanding. Kenneth Walker III will be a great pick if he can pick up where he left off, but 2nd round rookie Zach Charbonnet casts some doubt there. They pulled some sneaky stuff in Round 14 taking Dave's McCaffrey handcuff in Elijah Mitchell. That move could end up being a league winner of McCaffrey goes down and Mitchell can stay healthy. Dak Prescott as a standalone QB isn't ideal, but he should deliver low-end QB1 value. Very well-rounded squad that I expect to make a playoff berth.

Take Mahomes, Country Road: B-

Bijan Robinson is the great unknown, but #8 is appropriate value. I would've went with a proven commodity like Stefon Diggs here, but I understand the logic. Bijan has overall RB1 ceiling, but his floor is unknown based on the weapons the Falcons have. They did a smart thing in getting Tyler Allgeier in Round 12 to handcuff their blue chipper. Patrick Mahomes at #17 overall is SUPER EARLY, but with 6-point passing TD leagues, it gives them a decent floor. Alex Bregman was a solo manager in years 1 and 2 of this league winning the first year and finishing last the second. Brian McCann comes in and they have a stable team but also took some risks. I'd point to Calvin Ridley, Alexander Mattison, Jonathan Taylor, and Michael Thomas as risks. But if two of those guys hit, this should be a playoff team. Dameon Pierce is a great RB2 and I love the Brandon Aiyuk pick in Round 7. Aaron Rodgers at #128 also gives him some trade ammo to hopefully upgrade an area that is lacking in the future. Bregman has never been shy about trades before so I expect his team to look different before Halloween.

Takos and Tequila: C+

Saquon Barkley round 1 is a bit rich for me, especially with Stefon Diggs still on the board. But I like Amon-Ra St. Brown in Round 2, especially in a PPR format. The story of Moose's season with be the Joe Burrow/Tee Higgins stack. If Higgins catches 2 TDs in a game, he will be tough to beat. Diontae Johnson has nowhere to go but up after a 0 TD 2022 (I fully expect him to catch a TD pass in Week 1 btw). Khalil Herbert doesn't catch a ton of passes but averages 5.7 YPC and will be his RB2 in my opinion. I would've liked to see some more fliers in the late rounds, but Rashee Rice at #177 is a boom or bust project that is well worth that slot and could be an impact player for him.

Meet Met At The London: B+

The three-headed monster that is Joc Pederson, Alex Wood, and Austin Barnes got awesome value with Stefon Diggs at #10 overall. He's been in Buffalo for three seasons and has been 100+ catches in each season averaging 113 per. Derrick Henry hasn't been much of a pass catcher, but did catch a career-high 33 times last year. If you can get 2 catches/week out of King Henry that is a win. The question is if his now 29-year old body can hold up to the rigors of another long season. I've always said DeVonta Smith was going to be an awesome pro, so I like that pick at #34. Aaron Jones and Alvin Kamara are both RBs that catch a ton of passes so play to the PPR format well. Deshaun Watson is a bit of a risk as he hasn't played good football since 2020, but anchoring his with Geno Smith was wise. The best pick of this draft is at #159 overall with Tyjae Spears who has had a dynamite preseason and is also a fail-safe in case Henry goes down.

Team Blood Sweat and Beers: A-

Picking 11th isn't ideal this year, but Tony Pollard is a great pick at that spot. He's actually my #2 RB. Garrett Wilson is my #5 WR and I am expecting a huge year from him. Keenan Allen is a dicey pick. If he stays healthy, he could be a WR1, but he's battled injuries over his career. T.J. Hockenson just got paid and was unreal with the Vikings. If can continue where he left off, he'll be the #2 TE when all is said and done. Rachaad White is nice value at #59 and he catches a lot of passes. Trevor Lawrence is on the come up and I like that value as opposed to where some of the earlier QBs went. Anthony Richardson is a good backup in the 10th round as I'm expecting something like 100 passing yards and 60 rushing yards per game. That's a 10 point floor in this format and we're not factoring in any TDs. If he can put even a few points up, he will be good. The Jets D/ST is also one of my favorites this year. Overall this is a very well-rounded squad that should contend for a title.

Chiggy Chiggy Bang Bang: D+

This was an interesting draft as they traded back from the #3 slot with Mike Trout for the #12 slot. Some people like picking at the back end, but I don't know if the depth this year warranted it. CeeDee Lamb is a nice player, but hard to get excited about as your 1st rounder. I do like Nick Chubb at #13 as he's a threat to lead the league in rushing. But he's not a pass catcher, so doesn't really play to the league format. I am pretty out on Deebo Samuel this year as he's my #31 overall WR. So picking him at #36 is not where I'd go there. Lamar Jackson as your fantasy QB guarantees an exciting year, but he hasn't played beyond Week 14 each of the past two seasons. If they want to make a title run, they'll need him fully healthy and to play meaningful football towards the end of the regular season. Christian Kirk in the 5th is a bit high for me as with Calvin Ridley's emergence, he falls to their #2 option. I also hate the JK Dobbins pick as the Ravens backfield is muddy and wildly unpredictable. Dobbins has also struggled with injuries over his first few years. That being said, I do think the peppering the draft with rookies will eventually work. Jordan Addison, Zay Flowers, Tank Bigsby, and Roschon Johnson could all be factors, but does this team have the patience to wait for them to blossom? If they all hit and Lamar stays healthy this could be a title contender, but there are too many IFs for my liking.