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Should I Be Concerned That My Girlfriend is On the Roof With Her Crystals To Prepare for The Blue Moon?

First things first, I need to address how pathetic it feels to type out the phrase, "my girlfriend". I don't know why it feels so lame. It's factually correct. It's not like there's a better word for it. But a grown ass man saying "my girlfriend" like a 15-year old virgin who just touched a boob for the first time makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a letter opener. For the rest of this blog I will be referring to her affectionately as, "my bitch". 

Anyways, I was sitting on the couch minding my own business, finally coming out of the fog I was in from my colonoscopy earlier today. Just watching the US Open and listening to today's episode of The Kirk Minihane Show to prepare for his Friday show which I will be producing. When out of nowhere I hear my bitch from the other room exclaim, "Oh my god! The sky is so pretty, I'm going to take my crystals to the roof."

In response I said, "sure thing". Now she's on the roof holding crystals. For those who don't know, there is a blue moon tonight. A blue moon is when there are 2 full moons in the same month. I also think it's supposed to be really big. She may or may not be doing a moon dance (I don't think there's a moon dance involved but it would be foolish of me to rule that out).  

My question is, as a man who is planning to spend upwards of $5,000 dollars on an engagement ring sometime in the next few months. Is this a cause for concern? Is a woman of crystals someone who I can responsibly choose to spend the rest of my life with?

It all happened so fast. She was not a moon person when we first met. But about a month ago, she got deep into alien TikTok. Alien TikTok led to asking questions about the universe. Universe questions naturally led to astrology. Next thing I know we're leaving crystals on the window sill at night to charge in the moon overnight, and I'm sitting cross legged on my bed at 11pm receiving a tarot card reading. 

Is this my fault? Am I not paying enough attention to her? Am I too consumed with staring at my phone trying to think of something funny to blog but then ultimately coming up with nothing and wasting 3 hours of my life on a nightly basis? Or is this the natural progression of a woman. You get into cheerleading in high school. Binge drink in college. Buy a puppy in your mid 20's and refer to yourself as a parent. Then begin referring to yourself as a student of the universe and make important life changing decisions based on the position of the moon in your 30's. I think menopause come next. Idk I'm not sure how the female body works.

But who am I to judge? Who am I to tell someone how to live? Or on what to base their decisions? I've been making terrible decisions my entire life, and not once have I taken the moon into account. Maybe if I was better in tune with the moon and stars, then I wouldn't have gotten robbed for $300 that one time in Fort Worth when I went to the bad area of town to try and buy drugs. Maybe if I had considered the fact that I was an Aquarius, and read my horoscope that morning, I would have read a book instead.

Perhaps I do have something to learn from tonight's blue moon. Maybe some self reflection based on the position things in the sky that I don't understand whatsoever is exactly what I need. I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Feels like I've been doing the same shit for a while. Maybe I could use a new perspective. Astrology can't all be complete and total bullshit made up by the people of Ancient Mesopotamia back in the day when nobody wore clothes and the average life expectancy was 16 years old. I'm sure there's some legitimacy to it.

So if you need me tonight, I'll be on the roof gazing at the moon while I receive a tarot card reading so I can know for certain what lies ahead for me in life. Maybe you should too. Especially if you're a Pisces. For a Pisces especially, the blue moon marks a time of heightened emotion, desire, intuition, and imagination. It's a time to embrace your innermost ambitions and desires. A time to make important heartfelt decisions about your relationships. Saturn is in retrograde for Christ sakes. If you care about your life. If you're a responsible adult. Then you'll go outside, look at the fucking moon, and start manifesting your ass off. It would be stupid to do anything else.

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