Let's Remind Ourselves Of The Relevant And Mostly Idiotic NFL Rule Changes We Are About to Yell At Our TVs Over
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We do it every year. We sit our asses down to watch NFL Week 1 when a penalty is called on our team for something we've seen done legally a million times. We immediately race to social media to post #NFLRigged because, quite frankly, that's about all we can do.
Except one other little thing… We can take a moment to remind ourselves about the new rule changes and make fun of them.
I'm not here to tell you the NFL isn't rigged against your favorite team. It definitely is. I'm here to pretend I'm here to remind you about such rule changes, except in reality I'm just going to fire off some takes for the record. I don't know if you're aware but the NFL competition committee members aren't exactly the forefathers of our country in terms of putting critical thought and foresight into making rules. They just respond to issues after the fact when shit looks bad.
Let's touch on a few of the bigger changes.
Forward handoffs are now illegal
Starting with the sandwich approach to feedback here with a positive. Hot seat RPOs. This does seem like a direct attack to the Baltimore Ravens as quarterbacks can't extend the ball forward on a hand off anymore. I'm actually OK with this because RPO is such a college/high school play call. This is the NFL. And this will affect my Bears too but I have to tip my cap as it's not fun to watch at the pro level.
(EDIT - I'm told this rule is only in affect for ineligible players which I did see a source mention in my initial research but was confused cus wouldn't that have been the case otherwise since they are… ineligible?? Maybe not. Maybe I don't know ball. But this makes sense in the fact that I was actually complimenting the NFL for a move that it turns out they didn't even make. So much for the sandwich approach NFL - I guess I'm giving you have an upside down open face sandwich instead. But I'm not deleting the section. Not because it turns out it's not true. But because I have a joke to set up with it)
There will now be automatic booth reviews on failed 4th downs but for some reason not converted first downs
This rule is so funny and I hope they enforce it to the letter of the law. It makes zero sense to do this for unconverted 4th downs but not converted ones. Whatever. The best part is there's no qualifier for how close a failed 4th down needs to be. So by rule, all unconverted 4th downs must go to booth review. Imagine being Kerry Collins in the play below. It's 4th and 10. Things are still in the balance because you're only down 52-0 and perhaps all you need to spark a comeback is the benefit of a few inches of field position via booth review. Let's see how this goes.
Referee running to stop Kerry Collins from walking off the field: "Whoa whoa there! Hang on just a minute - don't give up yet we still have to review it!"
If this actual play happened with this rule and god had any sort of humor, the booth would rule a five-yard penalty on Kerry Collins for debatably using a forward handoff.
Fair Catch In Field Of Play On Kickoffs
Kickoffs are dying the death of a thousand paper cuts. First they moved up where the kicker kicks the ball a few years back and now they are taking away a kicker's strategic short kick play. I see what the NFL is doing here. This is the frog in a boiling pot routine.
There's no question the kickoffs are dangerous and the NFL is in need of something they can point to in potential future litigation showing they took action against head trauma worried about it's players, but at the same time they can't just remove it cold turkey. Fans would be in an uproar. I think the case can be made that us fans are addicted to the kickoff. Think about it. It's the first play of every game that gets us high right from the start. The crowd is roaring. The ball is flipping 100 ft in the air. May as well be a schedule III drug. The fact is the NFL is putting us through a de facto drug rehabilitation program by making kickoffs progressively more and more boring until we just demand they take them away completely. At that point the NFL gets to be hero and "listen to our feedback". I give it 5-10 years tops before we are forcibly brought to sobriety from kickoffs.
Players can now wear #0 including kickers and punters
A few notes here. First - alpha move by the Eagles to propose a rule that has nothing to do with any competitive aspect of the game. I think they just wanted to get the heat off all the tush push talk. Worked like a charm too.
I read some 22 players are going with the new number 0. I think I speak for all fans in saying the liberation of the number options for position groups is an assault on our brains. Calvin Ridley should be suspended from the league (again) for wearing #0. What's wrong with #80 Calvin? There's a decorum.
An illegal launch is now defined as when a player leaves one or both feet to make a tackle
If you need an example of a play in which would qualify as "leaving one or both feet to make a tackle" just look up any random play whatsoever. What are we doing here? If I'm a coach I'm immediately challenging the first two tackles made by the other team. We're basically saying you can't run while making a tackle. Cornerbacks can't jump to make a diving tackle on a wide receiver going 22 mph but I'm sure they'll still be able to after coming to a complete stop to keep both feet on the ground. If anyone actually adheres to this rule people will think they're watching Madden when someone's dog popped a squat on the controller.
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The offense can't benefit from their own penalty by getting an untimed down
This reminds me that I'm still waiting for a coach to get smart and tell his DBs to blatantly hold every play in the waning moments of a half. Don't even try to get away with it. Grab them by the jersey and pancake them to the ground. Think about it. It's just a five-yard penalty so long as you avoid drawing PI and the offense loses eight seconds or so every snap. Say there's 30 seconds left and your opponent has the ball at your 25. Why risk giving up a touchdown on a deep route? Double team everyone and hold them unabashedly and now you've left them having to decide between going for it one last play at the 10 or kicking a field goal they were going to make anyway. That's just one example but you get the idea. Basically what I'm trying to say is I'm smarter than Bill Belichick.
That should cover the main changes that might cause you to wonder what the hell is going on in Week 1. They are also allowing an emergency quarterback that doesn't take a roster spot which, to the NFL's credit, is a Purdy good idea. Consider that the other piece of bread on the sandwich approach. My only other take is that it's completely wild to me still that the NFL doesn't ban the slide since they are literally making the quarterback determine when the defender is far enough away to make a tackle. Oh yeah, and in doing so said quarterbacks are dropping their heads on a tee at torso height which just so happens to be where well intended defenders aim in tackling.
- Jeffro