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Get Ready For Payback: Your NFL Week 1 Revenge Report

Giphy Images.

I've been thinking of new recurring NFL content to pilot this season to add to the weekly sad stats blog and decided a comprehensive weekly player revenge game report is worthy of a trial run. I'm still mad that we were robbed last year of a Week 1 full-on switcharoo revenge-off between Russell Wilson and Drew Lock, but what are you going to do? Definitely nothing that juicy this season in Week 1, but that doesn't mean we cant have some fun with a few been's and never was's. Let's give it a go. 

Bobby Wagner (Seahawks) vs Rams

This was going to be a revenge game regardless of what side of the field he played for. After playing ten years with the Seahawks, Wagner did the most relatable thing possible that ended in the most relatable way possible. The 2021 Seahawks sucked and he knew he was getting old and the Seahawks were old news so he bailed to join the Super Bowl champion Los Angeles Rams. That could have gone better given the fact that the Rams went on to secure the worst win percentage for any Super Bowl winning team in the following year. So what does Wagner do? What we'd all do. He learned absolutely nothing and jumped ship again back to the Seahawks since they re-emerged and made the playoffs. You gotta respect this move. You also might wanna wanna fade the Seahawks this year. We know how this goes. 

Colt McCoy (NA) vs Commanders

This ain't right man. There Colt McCoy was, knowing all offseason he'd have a chance to show the Commanders they shouldn't have given up on their five-year relationship of being their plan c backup option, and now he's on the streets. And for what? So your new coach can keep a "competitive advantage" by not deciding between Joshua Dobbs who's flight to meet the team probably just arrived and… actually I have literally no idea who other guy even is?

Marcedes Lewis (Bears) vs Packers

Marcedes Lewis is set to become the longest tenured tight end in NFL history topping Jason Witten and Tony Gonzalez's 17 seasons each. He's so old he probably doesn't even remember playing for the Packers even though it was just last year. Lewis isn't much of a flashy scorer type but his intangibles and blocking have kept him in the league longer than any other tight end to do it. This will be the type of revenge where you show the other person how classy and put together you are vs trying to make some sort of scene. Take the over on televised hand claps and teammate high fives from Marcedes greeting teammates on the sideline. 

Robert Tonyan (Bears) vs Packers

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em… to your team. Clearly the only reason the Bears haven't figured out the Packers is because of the dominance of Green Bay's tight end play. Now the Bears have all their good ones! Take that Packers. Oh, you poached our punter Pat O'Donnell? Oh no! Can't wait to see him play early and often.

Really feeling my Bears this year. Erase everything from the past. The new look Bears will finally beat the Packers and we'll know exactly why. Because we stole their tight ends. 

Jarrett Stidham (Broncos) vs Raiders

OK, so maybe Jarrett Sithim will be getting his revenge on the bench and not starting, but that gives him all the more opportunity to show the Raiders what they're missing since that's what he did with them anyway. He'll be bringing out his finest Officemate clipboard with a freshly shined clip. That'll show em. 

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Greg Joseph (Vikings) vs Bucs

You might wonder why this is a revenge game seeing as how Greg Joseph never actually played a game on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. That's a logical point. But take one look at his career transaction log and you'll understand why he not only belongs but could understandably have Ray Finkle vs Dan Marino revenge motivation:

Read from bottom (least recent) to top (most recent)

For those keeping score at home that's 20 times in a span of about nine months that the Bucs assigned Joseph to the practice squad. That has to be a record. Forgive me for not being a PFR Transactionologist, but I assume they don't log when a player is let go from a practice squad? 

Anyway this is Joseph's chance to get back at them for this egregious workplace malpractice. He's going to need to stay strong because the Buccaneers are going to throw everything they can at him including signing him at least two or three more times to their practice squad during the game.

Happy revenge Week 1. 

- Jeffro