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Captain America: Christian Pulisic Is So Damn Good For AC Milan, He's Got Italian Commenters Chanting About The USA Mid-Match

Look at our Captain America. All he had to do was get out of dumbass Chelsea, play for a real club and this is what we get. We get goals, we get him on the field and we get Italian commenters screaming USA like any good red-blooded American from the midwest. That's why we still believe in 2026. This is why I will always make fun of whatever Chelsea did this offseason wasting money on a bunch of guys who are going to lead them to a solid 12th place finish. 

I love this call though. The Italian accent on it, the USA, the near orgasm over Pulisic. It's a lot like this blog. I will defend a fellow central Pennsylvanian dude who just so happens to be one of the best players we have in America. Shout out his dad for playing for the Harrisburg Heat while we're at it. The Harrisburg Heat were AWESOME to go see when you were like 10-years old. But that's not the point. This is about Pulisic. Look at the first goal he had for Milan: 

That's America, that's the USA baby. The plan is simple. Have our guys gel together, get a shit ton better playing in Europe, we all come together and remove Gregg as manager and we win in 2026. Then we somehow get Messi's kids to play for the USA and we win again in like 2042. USA! USA!