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BountyGate 2.0: Eli Apple's Ex Is Offering To Pay The Fine For Anybody To Go After His Knees, Or Maybe A Hammy, This Season

Megan Briggs. Getty Images.

They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And it makes sense. Breakups always suck. Because at one point in time, you thought that person was the most important person in the world to you. And then all of a sudden one day it all goes to shit. You went from the highest of highs, to the lowest of lows. That catastrophic crash is bound to come with some ensuing chaos. 

Now most of the time, the biggest fear after a breakup is that you never know what they're going to air out to the rest of the world. Most people have to worry about their exes running off and saying they are terrible in bed. Most people have to worry about their exes running off and telling everybody they have a tiny pecker. But it turns out that professional athletes have an entirely different situation they have to be worried about--their scorned lover turning to social media to ask opposing players to hurt you. 

That's what Eli Apple is currently dealing with here. 

I mean god damn. I'd much rather the world think I'm dog shit in bed than have to go through 9 months of rehab. Go ahead and air out an entire list of dirty laundry before sending my ACL to the shadow realm. If you see Eli Apple drop any easy interceptions this year, at least he can blame it on the fact that he doesn't want some meathead tight end diving at his knees to stop him. 

Now to be fair, I don't know anything at all about this woman. So I'm not quite sure what her current financial situation is looking like, and/or if she's aware of the fine amounts in the NFL. But most of them range somewhere in the $10-15K territory for first time offenders, and then jump from $16-21K for the second offense. Maybe I'm just poor, but that doesn't sound like the savviest investment to me. 

Either way, Eli Apple should just stay precautious this season and continue to get beat out there. 

Can't have anyone coming after your knees, or maybe a hammy, if you don't have the ball. Or at least not in theory.