First day of school vibes are wild. Summer has come to an abrupt end and you've got a whole new group of friends and enemies you're going to share the next nine or so months with. Once the bell rings and the classroom door shuts you're trapped until next June. It's equally terrifying as it is exciting. Time to learn meaningless things like script and European history. The questions run through your mind. Where are your pals? Is that one girl you're maybe gonna talk to this year here (probably not)? Did you get stuck with the worst teacher on RateMyProfessors.com? I used to LIVE on that site during the summer as I nervously waited for the assignments.
Well, we never really think about it from the teacher's point of view though. It's a stressful, nervous time for them as well. Their summer escape from work is over and sadness has returned. They've got to prepare all those lesson plans and buy a ton of supplies that the school doesn't provide as they prepare for a new wave of little terrorists to enter their life.
3rd grade teacher Kimberly Coates decided to combat those feelings by getting piss drunk on day numero uno. A bold choice I would say.
(Daily Mail) Kimberly Coates, 53, was teaching her class at Perkins-Tryon Intermediate School in Oklahoma when she was taken out of her classroom on the first day of term to meet with the school's superintendent and a police officer.
After drawn-out questioning that saw her take a breathalyzer test and continually deny she had consumed alcohol at school, she eventually admitted she had drunk half a box of wine until 3am earlier that morning
However, after the superintendent, Doug Ogle, told her she seemed 'like you're not the same person I talked to this morning,' the officer and school administration suggested she had been drinking since arriving at school and since class started at 8.25am.
Coates was arrested on Thursday, August 17, on the anticipated charge of public intoxication.
Honestly a pretty sad situation here. The woman clearly has a problem and can't help herself. Now that certainly doesn't excuse her being hammered while supervising young kids and possibly driving drunk to work before that. The body cam footage of her getting arrested is tough. She told them the wine in her cup was just juice and that she only drank the night before. That's a great excuse until they present said cup that smells clear as day like wine. She proceeded to blow a .24 BAC. Yeah, tough to wiggle your way out of that one. While I get teaching crazy 3rd grade kids can be the worst, especially under a minimal teacher's salary, we can't be 3 times over the legal limit at work.
This did get me thinking about how we viewed our teachers as these motherly or fatherly figures back in the day. They were superior to us in every way and we looked up to them as these chosen ones hand picked by the gods to teach us the ways of the world. They could do no wrong.
In reality they were degenerates. Not all of them, but definitely some.
Here and there they'd go out the night before and get hammered like we do on occasion during the week as adults. When that one teacher kept popping his head into your female teacher's class? Yeah there's a decent chance they were hooking up outside of work and that was just blatant flirting. The cup of coffee they were drinking? Yeah it might have had a splash of some good ol' poison in there. That one guy's eyes who were always red? Yeah that wasn't because of allergies.
We are fed so many lies in school as we grow up it's crazy. Script is useless, calculus will never be needed outside a classroom unless you become a math teacher, and teachers have plenty of vices themselves.
P.S. Can anyone explain why art class was a thing? Was it just to have a break from "important" classes? It's crazy we're never taught life stuff like how a credit score shapes your entire way of life. That shit is so SO important and they let us just find out on our own! You grow up and you're led astray one day at a time. Dammit
P.P.S. Speaking of nervous vibes like the first day of school, the Barstool Awards tonight have me terrified. Power keg type shit. Boarding the Titanic knowing what's about to happen vibes. Tune in tonight, just $10 via PPV