Dumping Them Out: You Should Watch Big Brother

John Rich8/20/2023 9:00 PM

THERE ARE BIG BROTHER SPOILERS IN THE BLOG

Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. I've been putting off writing this all day. But I owe it to the internet to supply people with a mixture of new Boob GIFs, ones I've been repurposing for the past 6 months, along with the first 1000 (approx.) words of thoughts that come into my head.

And today I'm thinking about Big Brother. I'm just now getting caught up on this season of Big Brother, so that's what I'm writing about. I'd recommend this show to anyone. If you're not familiar, it's a reality TV show similar to Survivor with 16 people in 1 house, and every week someone gets voted out until there's one contestant remaining. They're still only a couple weeks into the season so you have plenty of time to get caught up if you're interested.

So I'm going to try to sell it to you here. One fun thing that's already happened this season is that we've already had 1 contestant eliminated for using a racial slur. I did not have that on my Big Brother bingo card as the reason for the 1st elimination. However, to be honest, it probably should have been. Because this is the 2nd season in a row that someone has been sent home for accusations of racism.

A little backstory on what happened a couple seasons ago. We're now on season 25 of Big Brother. In season 23, there was something called The Cookout. The Cookout was a group of 6 (maybe 7) African American contestants who teamed up at the very start of the season. They were able to navigate the game, and vote out every other house member until only members of The Cookout were remaining. It was pretty cool to see them actually pull it off. Even with that many people on the same page, you gotta have A LOT of shit go your way to actually make it work.

So then the next season, Big Brother 24, this dude named Kyle makes it pretty far into the game. Kyle gets this theory in his head that there's another Cookout situation happening, and starts telling everybody that they need to start voting out the black contestants. As you might imagine, it went over poorly, and they all voted him out instantly.

I mean that's some pretty good drama right? Regardless of how you feel about that whole situation, that was some damn good reality TV. This season some Cali bro looking dude tried to casually throw out the n-word, and they just kicked his ass out immediately.

But to be perfectly transparent, the real reason I wanted to write about Big Brother todays is because of the burning hatred I have for one contestant in particular. His name is Hisam, and he's one of the worst people I've ever had the displeasure of gracing my television set. Here's a little taste of this loser.

One of the best things about working for Barstool for me is that can carry out personal grudges against people I dislike from watching them on TV for a few hours. Even if nobody cares about it. I can drag the name of a "public figure" who I don't like through the mud, and in turn I feel better about myself. It's really neat.

Actually come to think about it I have no idea what slander or libel actually is. It must apply to me right? I really don't know if I can get in trouble for simply waxing poetically about how much I hate one particular reality TV contestant based on the way CBS edited the TV show. We didn't go over that in my 3 minute long meeting with Nate where he showed me how the blog worked and told me to have at it. But this Hisam guy fucking sucks. I don't have the literary skills to aptly depict just how much of a terrible human being he is, but the quickest way I can describe him is by saying he's one of the most high & mighty people I've seen on TV. I really hate this guy. He thinks he's better than everyone else. He talks down to every other person in the house in the most infuriating way. He expects everybody in the Big Brother house to do whatever he says. And he takes everything personally which is my least favorite characteristic of these reality competition contestants. It's not fucking personal. Only one person can win. If someone wants to vote you out that means they're playing the game not that they're doing you wrong. Nobody owes you anything. And no shit people are going to lie to you. People act like getting lied to is this giant mortal sin but that's literally what the game is about. These shows are full of people lying to each other. That's why they're entertaining.

The next episode of Big Brother airs tonight at 8 PM EST. A couple more interesting things if you're thinking about getting into it.

There is currently a false accusation going around about one of the contestants being Denzel Washington's sister.

There's a Survivor legend on Big Brother this season. Cirie Fields is her name, if you're a Survivor fan you're probably familiar. They slipped her in as a last second entry as a surprise. But what the contestants don't know is that another one of the contestants is her son.

And I'm pretty sure the whole house is about to turn on Hisam which is going to be extremely satisfying.

Watch Big Brother. It's great. Promise I won't spend a whole Dumping Them Out again, but I'm trying to see if enough people watch the show for it to be worth writing about it every week. Here are a few bonus GIFs as an apology