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Philly Fans Are The MLS' Last Hope At Defending Itself Against Lionel Messi Tonight

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Ever since Lionel Messi came over to the MLS, he's been making a total mockery out of the league. Inter Miami hasn't lost a game yet and he scores every time he touches the pitch. Every time Lionel Messi has gone out there wearing an Inter Miami kit, he's made it look like a Tavon Austin high school highlight tape. 

While I'm sure the ticket sales and broadcast ratings have been great for the league, eventually someone is going to need to step in here and put an end to the madness. Just think about how much the Avengers movies would have sucked if Thanos went around zapping a billion people out of the universe without anyone even attempting to stop him. The MLS brought a villain over from a foreign land, and now we need heroes to step up and stop him before it's too late. 

Enter the Philadelphia Union and Philly fans. 

We always knew that when it comes time to save the world, you can always count on Philadelphia. Just remember back to when we saved civilization by taking out HitchBOT's bitch ass. 

HitchBOT. Messi. Anybody. There's no threat too powerful for Philadelphia to overcome and overpower. 

The funny thing is that Messi clearly tried to avoid Philadelphia at all costs. It just so happens that one of the last games on Inter Miami's schedule before Messi came over was against the Union. The Union beat the piss out of Inter Miami 4-1 on June 24th, Messi was waiting over in Paris like a coward, and then didn't suit up for Miami until later in July. He thought he was in the clear. He thought he wouldn't have to face Philly. But as fate would have it, both teams have now advanced to the semifinals of the Leagues Cup and now he has to play in Philly (Chester) for the first time in his career. 

I'm almost shocked that Messi even got off the plane. This guy has a reputation to uphold as the best soccer player on the planet. He can't go out there and have Philly fans completely dismantle his psyche for 90 straight minutes. What is the world going to think when Andre Blake holds him off the scoresheet for the first time in his Inter Miami career? What will happen when they see that he's just human? Philly fans may not be the hero the MLS deserves right now, but we're sure as shit the ones that they need.