Look at the Philadelphia Eagles ruining what would've been one of the greatest stories in NFL history potentially playing out. Hollywood couldn't have written a better script about a retired quarterback that could never make it to the Super Bowl getting a call to lead maybe the most talented roster in football to a championship ring. Mickey Mouse is cumming everywhere at the mere thought of slapping a Disney logo on a motion picture like that.
Instead, the Eagles ruined everything by beating the 49ers backup backup QB and backup backup backup QB before they just gave Christian McCaffrey the ball to mercy kill their season. But holy shit it would've been fun to see the chaos when Schefter tweeted Philip Rivers was being signed to start in the Super Bowl, his entire litter of kids filling an entire suite in Arizona, and maybe just maybe writing a flat out BONKERS ending to his career that nobody saw. Thanks for nothing Smitty! (JK General, I just had to pile on since you are in the blender right now).
Anyway, I think the NFL should make a rule that if any team's QB room gets ravaged by injury in the AFC or NFC Championship Game like San Francisco's did, Philip Rivers should automatically become their starting QB in the Super Bowl for all the great storylines I just laid out. Plus let's be honest, Philip Rivers has to lead to league in last minute comeback attempts that ended in wild fashion. Seeing a Philip Rivers Ending during The Big Game™ would make it the greatest Super Bowl ever, even if he ended up coming short just like he did countless times during the end of the late afternoon games right before 60 Minutes started and signaled the beginning of the end for the weekend. If Goodell has a shred of a brain in his skull, he will institute the Philip Rivers Automatic Super Bowl QB rule tomorrow. But I'm not holding my breath.
Actually what am I saying? Being the 49ers Emergency QB is the best gig in sports since it is a certainty that everybody on the depth chart at that position is going to end up with a season-ending injury as long as Shanahan is coaching there. I don't know if it's the Football Gods exacting revenge for Kyle and his dad torturing fantasy players by turning the most random running backs into studs while turning the first rounder you drafted into a bench player or just awful luck. But something tells me Kyle and Philip will be talking about Rivers joining the 49ers at some point after Christmas.
P.S. Eddie called Arby's "The Philip Rivers of fast food chains", which was the most perfect description of Rivers and Arby's I have ever heard.