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Robert Saleh's Opening 'Hard Knocks' Monologue About Eagles And Crows Will Have You Ready To Go All Gas No Brake

At first it seemed like Robert Saleh was about to manifest a Jets-Eagles Super Bowl matchup. Then he starts going on about how crows are the only bird that will fuck with an actual eagle while it's in flight. Most of the players in the room seemed a little miffed by the metaphor at first, but DAMN Saleh! He brought it home!

The eagle flies as high as possible instead of simply knocking the crow off or pecking it. Nature's ultimate "fuck around/find out" scenario. Eventually the crow suffocates, falls an unfathomable distance to the earth and dies. Saleh's message? With all the expectations heaped on the Jets for 2023, there are going to be a lot of crows coming after them. He's imploring them to essentially shrug off those pests, soar LIKE A JET above it all and not give any of that shit any oxygen.

I've always found it a little funny, Saleh's whole "all gas, no brake" mantra. I get that it's meant to illustrate how his team is intentional with everything they do and from the moment they wake up, they don't hesitate. It's cool to have that sort of tunnel vision when you're in football season. 

Still, taking "all gas, no brake" literally, it sounds like a perfect recipe for burning yourself out. In its most literal interpretation, it sounds, um...kind of fatal?

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But I'm 1,000% here for the crows-eagles Saleh soliloquy. Hell of a start to try to live up to Rex Ryan's legacy on the show. 

Football is BACK, baby. Well almost. For people who don't think the Jets are going to be shit this year despite acquiring Aaron Rodgers: Did you know that even with the worst quarterback play in the league last year, they finished fourth in yards and points allowed? That's the Robert Saleh Effect right there. You can't deny this man can coach his side of the ball. Now the offense has to pick up the slack. I believe they will.

Another thing that stood out from the top of the opening Hard Knocks episode: Aaron Rodgers alluding to how the Jets have only one Lombardi Trophy and how it looks lonely in its case. That was from his opening presser, yet it still stands out. Rodgers fully believes New York has a real championship window. So much so that he took a $35 million pay cut. Really interested to see how HBO covers that later on, if at all. 

It's still mind-blowing to think of the Jets as legit threats in the AFC. The hype will only grow with this Hard Knocks exposure. 

Unlike some of the teams in the past, though, this won't be a case of rose-tinted glasses and audiences falling for all the heartwarming human interest stories that inevitably arise. These Jets seem like they're actually for real. And Saleh is letting his guys know now that opponents aren't circling them as an easy win. They need to be eagles to those Icarus-ass crows. 


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Shoutout to Aaron Rodgers for leaving the NFC North the year so much key Barstool talent migrates to Chicago. Maybe now the Bears have a chance. It all comes down to Justin Fields…and I have a feeling he's going to blow his OU TD total out of the water.