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Nobody Knows Piss Like The Jacksonville Jaguars Know Piss And This New Technology Proves It

My brothers and sisters in Christ, this is the way. This is the way to tell about the truth when it comes to the life force that dwells deep within the souls of all whom piss a stream. 

Truth be told, we've all pissed. We've huddled around a toilet, urinal, or hole in the mud to let loose the byproduct of our body's unrelenting desire for water AND electrolytes. Cant forget those bad boys. Without electrolytes, the body cannot breathe. I think. I dunno. Im not really sure what electrolytes are but they are certainly a better option than electroheavies IMO. 

Whatever electrolytes are, the Jacksonville Jaguars are monitoring them through groundbreaking technology. Long gone are the days of color charts. 

You see, the color of urine is in the eye of the peeholder. Some folks struggle with vision. Hand up. That's me. I can barely read the questions on Jeopardy. Just the other night I said to my beloved, "I simply cannot read the questions." She rightly retorted that Im speaking about the answers. The questions are what the contestants respond. She's right. Completely right. 

Having dark piss is wrong and dangerous in the sweltering heat of DUUUUVVAAALLL county can make hydration a difficult task. The humidity and 100+ degree days during the dog days can make the Cardiac Cats catatonic which isn't what you want while the fellas train to make a deep playoff run. 

So, I'm happy that we are finally at a place where we can use piss technology to change the face of heat exhaustion. It just took one team who actually cares about piss and I'm glad that team is our beloved Jacksonville Jaguars.