Live EventBarstool Sports Pick6 Central | Thursday, May 2nd, 2024Watch Now
Live EventThe Unnamed Show With Dave Portnoy, Kirk Minihane, Ryan Whitney - Ep. 12Watch Now
The Barstool Golf Time App | Book Tee Times and Earn Free Barstool Golf MerchDOWNLOAD NOW

Faking Your Own Arrest In Order To Propose To Your Unsuspecting Girlfriend Is The Most Romantic Thing You Can Do

Every few months back when we recorded Podfathers (RIP In Peace), Large would tell the story of how he proposed to his lovely wife Annie in Paris. He did this to flex that he was not only better off than us financially but also romantically. Both were undoubtedly true, yet it always felt like he was piling on every time he did it. 

Well sorry Saint Anne, but our girl Shaquitta Nicole and her beau-to-be just trumped your big tub of love's proposal with the greatest love story these eyes have seen play out since John McClane risked life and limb to save his wife Holly Genarro McClane from a group of bank robbers posing as terrorists. On Christmas Eve no less!

I think every man has a bunch of things he hopes to find in a woman before pledging to settle down and spend the rest of his life with her. He is hoping for someone that loves him. He is hoping for someone that will care for him. And he is hoping for someone that is loyal to the point they have to be held back by multiple people at a backyard party because their man is getting arrested. The phrase ride or die chick gets thrown around a lot. But Shaquitta embodied that mantra to a tee, which was the last thing her man saw before he confidently took that plunge to one knee knowing he had found the exact type of woman that he was looking for.

Thanos once infamously said he knows what it's like to lose. To feel so desperately that you're right, yet to fail none the less. Frightening. Turns the legs to jelly. Well that is also apparently the case when you think your lost your man to the clink but instead won an engagement ring because poor Shaquita had nothing but Smuckers for bones after realizing she wasn't going to have to bail out her boo and instead had to go wedding dress shopping now that she had snared her true love's heart. Truly a beautiful thing to watch play out. Best of luck to the beautiful couple!

Also shout out to everyone at that party that was in on this entire proposal. It's hard enough to hide a secret when you know that your friend is going to pop the question or even if they are hosting a surprise party. But to be able to hide a fake arrest that turns into an engagement has so many moving parts, it fills my very large body with anxiety just thinking about it.