Carson Wentz Posting Pictures Passing A Football On IG Is So Sad I Can't Help But Defend Him
Well folks. This is it. This is as sad as it gets.
We all have that friend who got dumped a few weeks or months ago all the sudden begin posting gym pics with captions from motivational posters just praying she at least give it a like or - who knows - maybe even replies to his text from three weeks ago. Carson is taking this to another level by wearing all three of his ex's clothes they left at his place in hopes there's a fraction of percent chance it rekindles the magic that was never even remotely there in the first place.
To be honest though, I could totally see one of Carson's ex teams reaching out to touch base after seeing these posts. I'm sure their equipment manager wants their gear back for inventory day. But hey - gotta start somewhere! The only other gameplan for these posts I guess is to show off his improved??? throwing mechanics that demonstrate his ability to stand every bit as perpendicular to the ground as the Tower of Pisa. I couldn't quite grade the follow through on that pic though Carson. Can I see the rotation of the shoulders?
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There's only one way this throw ends.
You know what? Fuck it. This is too sad even for me - the guy that writes weekly sad stats during the NFL season - to just watch. I'm going to step up and follow through for the guy. Even if he can't. Still. I mean the man is clearly hurting bad. When a washed NFL quarterback is posting comeback pics of a check down pass with outrageously opened hips that reveals he's putting zero torque on a ball that - and I'm giving the benefit of the doubt here - perhaps had poison ivy on it's laces, that's a sign that this guy could use some support.
Sorry, I forgot. I'm here to defend Carson Wentz. Let's get back to that. Or, I guess, let's start all over with that. If you listen to Pardon My Take you might recall Big Cat reached out to me when the Commanders acquired Wentz last year to find any possible spin of a stat that made him look good. I think this is a good time to remind everyone about the good that comes with Carson's Crazy.
Here it comes. The "let me tell you about how good a guy my friend is" routine.
1. No QB has a better yards per attempt average in exactly 73 degree weather than Carson Wentz.
Not only that but in the year prior the average temperature in Land Over Maryland was 73 degrees too. And NOT ONLY THAT, but guess what exact temp it was in his first game at home as a Commander when he threw four touchdowns and got the dub?
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2. Carson joins a list perhaps literally exclusive to hall of fame quarterbacks in throwing 14 or more touchdowns in a given month
3. DC averaged 48 degrees in both November and December in 2021
Wentz trails only Jamarcus Russell, Baker Mayfield, and Jared Goff in yards per attempt at that precise temperature. I know what you're thinking. Wow - those are all #1 overall picks! Great company!
All things considered - it's good to see Carson is still giving it a go. I hope he's able to get himself back out there and find a team that values the element of chaos and self-hatred one would need to value to sign him even as a backup. But I'd love to see it happen. NFL GMs do NFL GM things sometimes so you can't say it's impossible. I think we can all agree it would be fun to watch him play again this year (for another team). So come on NFL teams! Who's it gonna be?
Think about the upside here. Next year he could be back posting on IG with your team's socks added to his fit.
- Jeffro