Lighten the Fuck Up! A Scotsman Was Stranded on a Desert Island for 10 Years When Suddenly He Wasn't Alone...

Giphy Images.

A Scotsman who'd been stranded on a desert island for ten years was sitting on the beach in the hot sun when he spotted an unusual speck on the horizon… 

"It's certainly not a ship," he surmised… 

As he continued watching the speck get closer, he ruled out the possibility of a small boat or a raft. The longer he stared, the more the spec began looking like a swimmer…

Then, suddenly, emerging from the surf, a gorgeous young woman wearing a skintight wet suit approached. He was stunned when the woman immediately asked him, "Tell me, fine Sir, how long's it been since you took a drag of yer favorite smoke?" 

"Ten long years, me fine-looking young lass," the Scotsman replied. 

With that, she reached over, unzipped a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve, and pulled out a fresh pack of his favorite ciggies. He opened the pack, took one out, and the young woman struck a match and lit it for him. He took a long drag, and with a smile pasted on his bearded, sun-weathered face, he exhaled and said, “Braw! In the name of the wee man, that is good!" 

"And, how long's it been since you sipped yer favorite scotch, fine Sir?" she asked. 

Brimming with anticipation, the castaway replied, "Ten long years as well, me beautiful lass…" 

She reached over, unzipped the waterproof pocket on her right sleeve, pulled out a small leather-covered flask full of his favorite scotch, and passed it to him. He opened it, took a belt, and proclaimed, "That scotch whisky is pure tidy!" 

Then, she began seductively unzipping the long zipper that ran down the front of her wet suit, and looking directly at the Scotsman, she asked, "And, fine Sir, how long's it been since you played around?" 

The Scotsman immediately fell to his knees, and not believing his own eyes, he declared, "Oh, for the love of Jesus, me sexy young lass, you've got golf clubs in there too!"  

Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968! This is LTFU Joke #185!

Just in case you missed the last one…