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If Messi Is Going To Score At Will Like The MLS Is A Beer League, He Should At Least Have To Booze Up Before Games

Miami Herald. Getty Images.

I don't blame the MLS one bit. If you have the chance to bring over the best player in the world to your league, you make that decision 100 times out of 100. At the same time, however….this might have been a bit of a mistake. 

Imagine if next year someone showed up to the Kentucky Derby with a rocket ship. It would probably lose a bit of its luster because everybody knows the rocket ship is going to win. Through 3 games in the MLS so far, Lionel Messi is a rocket ship. 

But you know what really grinds my gears? People who complain about a problem without at least offering a solution. 

Golf managed to figure out a solution to this problem with the handicap system. Now anybody can get out there and play against anybody else, regardless of talent level and still have a competitive chance. Soccer (or futbol) just needs to figure out something similar. Obviously it wouldn't be fair for Messi's goals to only count as half a goal or anything like that, but there's still a way we can shrink the gap between the GOAT and the rest of the mere mortals scrapping it out in the MLS. 

Get him drunk. 

If Messi is going to score every single night like it's a beer league, he might as well drink like it's one, too. I think before he subs into any match from now on, he needs to hit a breathalyzer. Get him over the legal limit and then he's allowed to play. I'm sure he'll still fill up the back of the net with ease, but at least it won't last all night. Eventually he'll run out of gas and need to stuff his face a few slices of pizza. 

It's just something to consider, is all I'm saying.