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More Assholes On Planes: This Time It's The Cleveland Browns Who Caused A Delay On A United Flight Because They Supposedly Trashed The Plane - United Airlines passengers in Washington Dulles encountered a flight delay on their San Francisco flight, with a gate agent blaming a professional football team in Cleveland for “trashing” the aircraft.

As noted on FlyerTalk, UA1893 was delayed out of Washington Dulles (IAD) last night, July 30, 2023. Gate agents blamed the delay on a “trashed” 757-300, further explaining that it had been used as a charter aircraft for a professional sports team.

Using United’s flight tracking software, it was not hard to find out which sports team was involved. The aircraft had come in from Cleveland earlier that day.

Onboard, the pilot apologized “multiple times saying it was the most disgusting he’s seen a plane in his career.” Special menus with the Cleveland Browns logo were found in seatback pockets. It was further explained that the aircraft was full of “garbage, spilled food and drink everywhere, etc.”

Being a Browns fan prepares you for a lot of things. That life isn't fair. That most of the time it sucks. That the right amount of alcohol can make most pain go away. And also what it will be like to have a child who inevitably will disappoint and embarrass your name in public. 

The Browns were at it again this week when they supposedly trashed a United Airlines jet they chartered back from their training camp retreat in Greenbriar, West Virginia. The pilot described it as "the most disgusting he's seen in his career." And I get it because that's how we usually describe every Browns season around week 11. 

What a dickhead move this is. Flight attendants aren't janitors. And how the fuck do you trash a plane this badly on an 80 minute flight? That's barely enough time for them to get a drink cart down the freaking aisle. Have a little respect for the people working on the flight.

If the flight was trashed this badly in that short amount of time and the Delta attendants were on there, then I can only imagine it must have looked like that scene from Wolf of Wall Street. 

I'm not going to speculate on who would be dry humping the flight attendants but I'm sure plenty of other people will in the comments. 

But to play devil's advocate here for a moment, what if United is lying? 

  • The flight operated from Cleveland (CLE) to Washington (IAD) as UA2553 – it appears this was an empty leg, but why? Was the charter so last-minute that the aircraft had to wastefully be ferried between a United focus city (and former hub) and a United hub?
  • Why wasn’t the aircraft cleaned in CLE, where it sat for 2.5 hours, or in IAD, where it sat for more than four hours, prior to the IAD-SFO flight?
  • Do sports teams always trash planes?

A couple great questions which begs another: Who do you trust more, the Cleveland Browns or an airline? 

Both are awful at their jobs. Both are constantly accused of things that may not necessarily be illegal but are in awful taste and they should be ashamed of. And we haven't been proud of either of them in a very, very long time. 

I wasn't there so I can only speculate but like most things in life, the truth probably lies somewhere between the dog shit airline's story and the dog shit football team's story. Please, for the love of god, just start winning so I don't have to care about this type of crap any more.

We dove deeper into this on The Pound Town Podcast this week. Subscribe so I don't feel like I'm accomplishing less than the professional football team I root for.