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I'm Even More "Team Lake" Than Ever After Seeing This Video Of More Sharks Than You Could Ever Imagine Hanging Out In Corpus Cristi, TX Over The Weekend

Listen, I love the fucking ocean. I was born in Massachusetts, grew up going to the Cape and Newport every summer like every other kid in New England. In my college and post-college years I started frequenting the Jersey Shore more often and beaches in Long Island. I love it. 

There's nothing like the smell of the salt water, the sound of the waves crashing, walking out for miles when low tide goes out, and everything else that comes with enjoying the ocean that you just can't ever get from a lake.

But one big thing that comes with oceans that you never have to worry about in a lake is fucking murder machines that can eat you like sharks.

Look at that army of sharks just making their way through the gulf. Hundreds of the things with no end in sight. Just an absolute fucking wrecking crew.

As if you didn't have enough things to worry about being stationed out on an oil rig in the middle of the ocean, you go outside for a little sunlight and fresh air and that's the sight you're greeted with? They better pay the poor souls who post up on those things for months at a time handsomely. Because if ever there was a job that would instantly make you an alcoholic its oil rig worker and crane operator. 

But back to the sharks, I totally understand they are just doing what nature intends for them to do, as an integral part of the food chain and aquatic ecosystem. We would be FUCKED without sharks. But just because I understand their place doesn't mean I have to enjoy sharing the ocean with them. 

That's why I'm team lake. 

Sure you sink like a fucking stone in the water in lakes vs. oceans, and you don't get the health benefits of beautiful hair and skin you do from swimming in lake water that do you from ocean water, but lakes win in every other category. 

Lake water won't rust your boats or motors. No barnacles. No hurricanes. No sharks. It's also not as humid. Sure we don't have the shellfish, and lake fish aren't as delicious as sea fish, but they're not bad. Tilapia is garbage but walleye, trout, and sturgeon are all awesome. 

You know what else we don't have to worry about out here on the beautiful Great Lakes that you ocean-goers do? 

Shit like "The Fall River Sea Monster". 

The defense rests your honor.

p.p.s. - the obligatory link to the international bestseller, Sharks Have Feelings Too.