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Apologies Are Owed to Vikings Wide Receiver Jordan Addison Who Was Arrested for Driving 140mph: It Was a Dog Related Emergency

Fox News - "His dog was having an emergency at his residence and that was the reason for his speed," the updated citation reads.

Addison was pulled over after speeding past a Minnesota State Police trooper going eastbound on Interstate 94 this past Thursday around 3 a.m. He was driving a Lamborghini Urus at the time.

"Yesterday morning I made a mistake and used poor judgment. I recognize and own that. I am going to learn from this and not repeat the behavior. I am truly sorry," Addison said in a statement Friday evening.

For this blog, I was initially going to give the stereotypical dog hardo "dogs are greater than humans" take. I mean... they are in a lot of ways. I was going to say something along the lines of, "Look, you can kick my dad in the teeth. You can run over my mother with a garbage truck. You can pick up my brother with the scoop of a backhoe and drop him on his head from 20 feet in the air. But if you fuck with MY DOG. I said, IF YOU FUCK WITH MY DOG!?!? Then I'll hunt you down, murder your entire family, etc. etc.".

But for one, that hypothetical doesn't even apply here, because I'm pretty sure nobody was intentionally harming Jordan Addison's dog, or holding his dog hostage. And for two, if I go hard core defending Jordan Addison then I'm saying that his dog's life is more important than the lives of the humans he's putting in danger by driving 140 in a 55. I don't think that's a hill I want to die on today. As much as I love dogs, I must concede that the life of a human is probably more valuable. It is in the eyes of the law, at least. I don't feel good admitting that. I don't know why I feel it's necessary to make that distinction. But about 10 years ago I had a scarring experience at an AA meeting that I can't help thinking about. 

AA MEETING STORY - I got into a bit of trouble in college, and part of my probation was that I had to attend a couple AA meetings a week for a full year. AA meetings are heavy stuff sometimes. One day in particular, one of the members' son had just died the day prior from a heroin overdose. He talked about the situation at length, and it was fucking gut wrenching. Like heart in my throat, everybody crying, can't even begin to imagine going through something like that type of stuff. When he was done speaking, a different woman raised her hand. She told a story about how her dog had recently passed away, and said something along the lines of, "People don't realize how losing a pet can be just as bad." I've never wanted to eject myself through the window of a church basement so fast. I thought the room was going to explode with tension. That memory haunts me to this day. So yeah... that really put things into perspective for me dog vs. human wise.

Sorry, I got sidetracked there. Obviously, Jordan Addison made a mistake. Even in a Lamborghini Urus, where going 140 probably feels smoother than going 55 in a Honda Civic, it's still dangerous. But I'll cut him a bit a slack if he was truly tending to a dog emergency. Not to excuse it entirely, but there were people comparing him to Henry Ruggs, and that seems a bit unfair. 

Hard to say what I would do in the same situation. I did once leave the golf course after the 7th hole to take my dog Dock to the vet, after my roommate called me and said, "Hey man, Dock got into our bathroom and ate some chocolate and chicken wings out of the trash." 

I never got a good explanation for why my roommate had chocolate and chicken wings in the bathroom of his upstairs bedroom, but Dock was perfectly fine. I can't seem to find any information on the status of Jordan Addison's dog, but since there's no news I'm hoping that means he/she is ok. Whatever his dogs status is, I'm wishing him a speedy recovery and a long happy life. 

FINAL NOTE: For some reason it didn't dawn on me until after I published this blog that the whole dog angle could be made up.  But I'd hate to accuse Jordan of lying, so I'm not going to do that.