SEC Sorority Sister Hopefuls Are Shelling Out THOUSANDS To Hire "Dress to Impress" Consultants To Up Their Chances of Making A House Roster
Sorority rush at the University of Georgia kicks off in August, a lousy time to wear makeup.
“You need to do it in a way that’s appropriate in southern humidity or else you’re going to have orange rivers running down your face,” said Trisha Addicks. She recommends keeping a “rush bag” with deodorant, portable fan, water and face powder.
That’s the kind of practical advice Addicks gives clients of her Georgia-based sorority-consulting firm, It’s All Greek to Me. Showing up in Dr. Martens combat boots, as one client asked about, might not be putting your best foot forward in some sorority circles, she said: “During rush, you’re not going to be confident if you’re wearing them, and everybody else is wearing espadrilles.”
Addicks offers a $600 seminar for women and their mothers to learn the basics about getting into a sorority; $3,500 buys unlimited access to sorority mentors who advise aspirants through every step. She is part of an industry emerging in recent years that sells tips and emotional support to women who want to avoid missteps that threaten first impressions. Sorority consultants cover such topics as what to wear, how to act, what to say and the wisdom of scrubbing potentially off-putting social media posts.
In the enchanting realm of college life, where Greek letters hold the keys to friendship, camaraderie, and unforgettable experiences, there exists a unique and coveted profession – the Sorority Consultant. These mysterious beings possess the magic to guide aspiring students into the hallowed halls of the University of Georgia's sororities.
Armed with in-depth knowledge, they can lead aspiring sorority members through the labyrinth of recruitment with grace and poise. With their guidance, potential new sisters can avoid potential pitfalls and maximize their chances of finding their perfect sisterhood for a cost in low thousands of dollars. Cant beat that.
Am I the only one who thought that 4k for the whole package was a fuckin steal? I mean, think about all the things you can do once you are into a high-powered sorority. You can network your dick off and create a life for yourself that youve always dreamed of. You can become like the non-problematic barbie of the silverscreen while being in the SEC. Sororities have crazy extensive alumni networks that can be beneficial for members' future careers or finding a future hubby OR WIFEY. The connections can open all kinds of doors to internships, job opportunities, and mentorship from experienced professionals. You might even be able to parlay your sorority memembership into the most valuable collegiate experience known to man… that's right. A spot on the viceroy roster here at barstool sports where you can break down videos like these.
Damron tells clients that they need a social-media presence but warns that sorority members will scour a recruit’s posts. She suggests that women erase images of themselves in very skimpy outfits or with alcohol. Instead, they should pile up posts about family, friends, hobbies and volunteer work. “It’s about telling a story to help the sororities get to know you,” said Damron. Her fees run as high as $4,000 for on-call service during rush.
Ever wondered how a sorority's recruitment process works? Fear not, for the Sorority Consultants have unlocked the secrets of this enigmatic ritual. From mastering the art of conversation to perfecting the right balance of enthusiasm and composure, these experts turn anxious freshmen into confident contenders for the low low fee of just 4k during rush. What a steal for being set up with a life that was made for success!
Feel like your dress might cost you your friends? Hop on facetime for just 199 during rush.
Not sure if you should drink a beer from a can or cup? Send a text for 29.99
Cant decide if you want to go with a smokey eye or lined lips? Place a quick call for 49.99.
It's a no brainer, folks.
Many councilers and therapists will tell you things like "you shouldnt care about fitting in. Instead of chasing the elusive dream of fitting in, focus on the treasure of authenticity. Embrace your true self, and you'll attract genuine connections with like-minded individuals who appreciate you for who you are. After all, real friends will accept you with open arms, quirks and all" which we all know is complete and utter bullshit.
You gotta fit in, my friends. The only way to do that is with a some good ole fashioned bribery and paid consulting for your friend group.