Happy 31st Birthday To Selena Gomez Who The Internet Is Now Saying Is Worth $800 MILLION

It's a Saturday in the dog days of the summer. There's not much going on unless you like baseball, horse racing, or going outdoors. Fortunately for us, it's Selena Gomez's 31st birthday and she's the #1 trend on Twitter today and it isn't particularly close. Selena has been doing this a long time. Truly one of the best to ever do it. Anytime I want to be amazed at the power of social media, I just go look at her Instagram page which has FOUR HUNDRED and TWENTY SIX million followers: 

Just laugh out loud funny numbers from Selena. Numbies was invented because of her. Her birthday post had 2 million likes in thirty minutes. Just an unbelievable amount of clout. And I suppose that is how you become worth $800 MILLION.

I knew I should have started my own makeup company instead of being a robot blogger. Dumb idiot robot.

Happy birthday to Selena, and if you find yourself at a pickup soccer game anytime soon, keep an eye out for the single Selena:

GOAT.