Sam Bankman-Fried’s Brother Tried To Buy An Island Nation To Have An Apocalypse Type Bunker For Other Uber-Wealthy Folks

Bloomberg. Getty Images.

Sam Bankman-Fried’s brother Gabe wanted to use the FTX Foundation to buy the island nation of Nauru and set up a bunker for him and other ‘effective altruists’ could live out the apocalypse in style.

Gabe’s island dream is one of the most eye-catching of the many revelations that have bubbled to the surface in a series of lawsuits the FTX bankruptcy estate has filed to recover hundreds of millions of FTX dollars from the collapse of Sam Bankman-Fried’s crypto empire—money the estate alleges was fraudulently allocated customer cash.

In the lawsuit, the lawyers cite a memo between Gabe Bankman-Fried and an officer of the FTX Foundation where he describes a plan to purchase Nauru, a tiny nation island in Micronesia.

The goal, according to the memo, would be to build a bunker that could be used in the event that “50%-99.99% of people die,” with the aim of ensuring that most EAs, or effective altruists, can survive, as well as to develop “sensible regulation around human genetic enhancement, and build a lab there.”

“Probably there are other things it’s useful to do with a sovereign country, too,” the memo also notes.

The FTX estate is seeking the return of all property that was subject to the fraudulent transfers alleged in the lawsuit, as well as monetary damages, although it did not specify an amount.

I love this idea. I know I shouldn't and it might get me canceled but I love the idea. Isn't that the dream for everyone? Who wouldn't want to go belly up to a bar and buy their own island? When you're playing a "if you can buy anything in the world, what would you buy" game, you'll almost always have an island. 

Let's see if this island, which is also the 3rd smallest country in the world, is worth it. 

Welcome to Nauru, my friends. Long, long ago, Nauru was just a tiny adorable island in the Pacific Ocean. It was inhabited by Micronesian people who lived simple lives, fishing, and farming. I know you're thinking Muana but that might be offensive but it also kinda makes sense so don't feel bad about it. 

In the 19th century, foreign countries noticed that Nauru had phosphate growing outta its ears. Phosphates are just basically fertilizers. They started mining it, and Nauru became famous for its rich phosphate deposits. They were buyin cars, bitches, and watches all over the joint. People were rich rich but that didn't last forever. War came a callin.

In the 1960s, Nauru gained its independence and became a sovereign nation after separating from Japan and later the League of Nations. You too can learn facts by using Wikipedia and then acting like you knew them all along. 

With the money earned from phosphate mining, Nauru became one of the wealthiest countries per capita in the world. However, over time, the phosphate reserves started to run out, and the economy faced challenges. Plus, dudes started complaining that they weren't getting any pussy. That doesn't have anything to do with the story but it's worth noting. They weren't fuckin on Nauru in the 1960s. Sad. 

Today, Nauru is a small island country with a unique history and a focus on developing sustainable ways to support its people and protect its natural environment while also being one of the fattest nations on earth. These folks are super fat lol. People there have become big lazy but it's hard to blame them when there are so many delicious snacks available on the island. With all those sweet treats, it's obvious why Crytpo bros would wanna make the place a bunker, and they're used to getting no coochie too. Perfection. 

So while most of the shit that ole Ben and his brother Gabe did is awful and fucked people out of millions, I don't hate them for wanting to buy a country. I'm just jealous that I'll never be able to swipe a card and become king. If that makes me petty, call me tom, folks. 

PS: I know this part is probably the most disturbing, but I dont know what it means so Im gonna choose to ignore it. 

The goal, according to the memo, would be to build a bunker that could be used in the event that “50%-99.99% of people die,” with the aim of ensuring that most EAs, or effective altruists, can survive, as well as to develop “sensible regulation around human genetic enhancement, and build a lab there.”