City boys we up! My toxic trait is making me think that after seeing this I think I might have a chance with Ariana Grande. I will leave my sole comment to Portnoy himself:
He did say no disrespect so you can't take it as that. Them's the rules. They do say true love has no boundaries, and I'm guessing they make each other very happy. That's all that matters at the end of the day right? We might as well call him Rizzbob Squarepants too, because that was apparently one of his first gigs:
I did my journalistic duty and found out that this news basically broke that he's now separated from his high school sweetheart who he had a kid with. The other part of the story is that Ariana just got divorced as well, and Keegs who couldn't be reached for comment because she hit her blog quota for the month said love is dead after that news broke. I tried our old pop-culture-reporter- turned-Mean-Girl Jordyn Woodruff but her desk had cobwebs from lack of usage so it's just me alone it seems. My further research showed that divorce was apparently because Ariana was "too famous", but it doesn't get anymore famous than Spongebob so this relationship should be okay. Love is not dead!
I don't know what you'd call the group of Ariana stans, but they might work as hard as the Swifties. They immediately found his Instagram and it seems like Ariana was plotting on an anniversary post according to them:
That's either the most diabolical move of all time from Ariana to like the photo of the couple that you're breaking up, or TMZ is off on this one. She did have that one banger song called Break Up With Your Girlfriend I'm Bored, so do with that as you will:
City boys get a +1 regardless.