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Dallas Goedert Is The Greatest Tight End In NFL History Who Can Also Ride A Unicycle

You think Gronk can ride a unicycle? I'm not even fully convinced that man can tie his own shoes. You think Antonio Gates can ride a unicycle? Guy spent too much time playing basketball to ever learn how. You think Travis Kelce can ride a unicycle? He may have some clownish tendencies every now and then, but that's not one of them. 

There were probably a couple guys in the 50s who could buzz around on a uni, but there's not a damn chance any of them were better football players than Dallas Goedert. 

So the fact of the matter here is that out of anybody who can ride a unicycle and has ever suited up in the NFL and played the tight end position, Dallas Goedert is the greatest out of all of them. The numbers speak for themselves. 

Sidenote: Your entire family being able to ride a unicycle because your grandpa would give $50 to whoever learned might be the best family tradition in America. I need way more insight into the Goedert family because the casualness with which he shared that information leads me to believe we haven't even scratched the surface yet.