STUDY: American MLB Fans Don't Like Shohei Ohtani

Alexa

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So fun fact about me is I fucking HATE surveys. I hate the concept and idea and statistics and everything behind them. I used to do a lot of population-statistics as a forensic accountant and in nuanced regulatory monitoring engagements and it's all trash. If your confidence interval is outside 99% then shut the fuck up about full representations. 

In the above case, you can see how much Surveys are trash because Shohei Ohtani wasn't even included in the top 25 of whatever the hell this is meant to represent.

Does that mean he's not a top 25 player? 

Are you yanking my fuckin chain right now? 

I would imagine less than 5% reading this are lame enough to voluntarily respond to a survey in exchange for the chance to win a raffle ticket. And we're already working off a filtered population here so just think about the kind of people taking on these MLB player prompts. Please, compare yourself. 

Did you come out favorable? Imagine that. 

My point is you can't trust surveys because it's all bullshit and this is a classic example. I won't get mad Shohei isn't on this list. I won't be befuddled with Miguel Cabrera's continued, comparative relevance. I'm just gonna chalk this one up to the survey industry being a bunch of predatory, number-wielding, fear-inducing, nihilist cunts. 

Spare me. I'm taking all my outrage in Shohei's absence and channeling right back to the JV team from Morning Consult that stands behind this work. 

Some more observations

Let's assume this is a valid survey

- WOW 

- LOOK AT THAT

- Anthony Rizzo should have never left the Cubs

- Jose Abreu fell off a cliff

- People like Cody Bellinger because he smokes weed

- Stephen Strasburg? Lol okay survey. You win.