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Patrick Mahomes New Missouri Mansion Includes a 40-Yard Turf Field, Par 3 Golf Hole, Pool, and a Pond

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NY Post - The couple recently finished their dream home on the 8-acre plot of land they purchased back in 2020.

Nearly three years later, a massive mansion now sits on the land with a number of extravagant amenities that would make even the royal family jealous. 

An aerial view of the property from Front Office Sports shows that Mahomes installed a pool, a private pond, a par-3 golf hole and a 50-yard football field, which includes a soccer net.

Mansion blog. I always see the NY Post posting mansion blogs, and I do aspire to be the NY Post, so I thought I'd try my hand at one. 

Congratulations to Patrick Mahomes on his beautiful new mansion. Some might know Patrick as the MVP/Super Bowl winning quarterback of the best team in the NFL, but most will recognize him from being the older brother of viral TikTok sensation/Class 5 felony sexual assault enthusiast Jackson Mahomes.

Whatever you know him from... pretty neat house right? I'd sure live there. If it were built in New York City that is. As I am now obligated to do as a true New Yorker who rents an apartment in Jersey City, I must declare that I would never be caught dead living in Belton, Missouri, and if Patrick Mahomes were to purchase a place for the same price in NYC: The Greatest City In The World, it would look something like this.

But I'm willing to overlook the location and appreciate the home for what it is, which is a beautiful dwelling somewhere in Amish Country. 

I must admit, a football field in your backyard is a pretty bitchin' feature. As a father of 2, that's going to be great for the kids. Although it appears there is no field goal post back there yet. He will need to install one of those. His children won't necessarily have the same god given football talent he was blessed with, and everybody knows if you want your kid to make it in football, but he doesn't have enough athletic talent, you build a field goal post in your backyard and force him (or her) to kick footballs for 6 hours a day every day of their childhood.

The par 3 golf course is perhaps my favorite feature. Calling it a par 3 might be a bit of a stretch. I'm just eyeballing this, but it can't be more than 75 yards from the start of the fairway to the middle of the green. What he needs to do is build a tee box in the little grass area between the pool and the football field. The grass is already brown there so you might as well cover it up with a nice tee box. Then maybe another tee box on the other side of the pond. Then cut down a narrow path of trees and build a 3rd tee box somewhere back there. Then you'll have a few different angles to hit into the green from. 

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When I zoom all the way in I think I might see a diving board on the side of the pool. That's crucial for any backyard pool if you want your kids to grow up to be good flippers. Kids who can do cool flips are always the fist ones to get laid, so that's definitely important.

I can't decide whether or not I want to call a pond "poor people shit". I don't think it is. But it's definitely not "10-year $450,000,000 + ad deals shit". I would definitely rather have a bigger pool, a basketball court, another golf hole, a go kart track, a tennis court, a pickleball court, a giant trampoline, another house, or a million other things he could definitely afford to put in there. But fishing is kind of cool I guess. He could stock it with fun fish. Or he could just get a Brandon Walker sized boat and zoom around a bit.

Either way, thank god he finally got this house built so Patrick and his lovely, not ever annoying wife, Brittany can move out of this fucking dump (now on sale for a modest $2.9 million).

Thank you for your time. Here's one more Jackson Mahomes TikTok as a token of my appreciation.

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