A "Small Soldiers" Appreciation Blog
It's really funny how your brain works sometimes. I was returning from my run the other day and stumbled upon a video by Double Toasted (one of the best movie review channels on YouTube). They did a segment about the 25th anniversary of the movie "Small Soldiers." I hadn't seen that movie in at least a decade, probably longer. I hadn't thought about it in quite some time, yet as they talked about it, I started recalling the entire thing scene by scene. The movie was released in 1998 (I was three years old), but it left a big impression on me, which is why I'm writing this blog right now.
When you're young, everything in popular culture is amplified. Movies and music felt like big events; at least, they did for me. I always thought "Small Soldiers" was a big deal to me and me alone in 1998/1999. I was wrong. There was a massive marketing push for this movie. Maybe my nostalgia is shining through too much, but how films were marketed in the last 90s/early 2000s was a lot cooler. It made every summer blockbuster feel like an event. And "Small Soldiers" was no exception. Even though I was barely old enough to have thoughts and memories, I remember the marketing push for "Small Soldiers" really well. I played the video game, and I can recall at least one time I dragged my mom to Burger King to get one of those Rodeo Burgers.
It's ironic that I have such vivid memories of this film at a young age because "Small Soldiers" isn't a kid's movie; it just presents itself as when. Joe Dante directed this. He's most famous for directing "Gremlins." He's a master of making films that appear like they're going to be kid's movies but end up being kind of fucked up experiences. "Small Soldiers" is no exception. Watching this movie as a kid is awesome because you feel like you're getting away with something. But when you watch it as an adult, it's kind of uncomfortable.
Regarding the film itself, I think this movie works better conceptually than it does as far as execution is concerned, but I do still enjoy it. It's a cool premise with many neat possibilities, and they take advantage of those possibilities at points. It's a strange film from a tonal standpoint. Sometimes it plays itself way too seriously, and sometimes it's too goofy for its own good. I do remember thinking the late, great Phil Hartman was funny in it. His referring to the Gorgonites as "The Gorgonzolas" was quite funny. Even at its worst, the film has more imagination than 95% of Hollywood shlock, which is a big reason why it's garnered the cult following that it has.
Considering it's been twenty-five years since the film's initial release, I'm shocked that we heard rumors about a potential sequel/reboot. Hollywood is rebooting, remaking, or reimagining fucking EVERYTHING at this point. A trailer dropped today for "Wonka," which tells the origin story of Willy Wonka. That is a movie I'm pretty sure a total of zero people asked for. One of these days, Hollywood will figure out why people don't see this shit. But "Small Soldiers" still has a relatively strong following. It's not a universally loved film, but it's a universally remembered film (if that makes sense). I think one of the issues Hollywood runs into is that they try to find potential in franchises that already reached their full potential. Marvel is a prime example of that. They peaked with "Endgame," and now they just won't let it go. I think there's a lot of liquid still to be squeezed out of the proverbial rag that is "Small Soldiers." I'd love to see a reimagining at some point. Just make sure they bring back the Rodeo Burger.