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The Smokeshow Who Freaked Out on an Airliner Over a Passenger Who Was 'Not Real' is Explained. By Carrot Top.

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As anyone who tried to fly commercial over the holiday weekend can tell you, the worst part about modern travel keeps finding new and inventive ways to get worse. Thousands of flights were delayed or canceled altogether. Millions were left stranded. Plans were ruined. It's gotten to the point where you're only surprised when it doesn't happen on a long weekend. 

And yet, there are times when the living envy the dead. I mean sure, you might have found yourself stuck sitting on the floor of O'Hare for hours while all the joy of 4th of July bled out of your soul. But at least you weren't on this plane, with this fellow traveler:

Source - A woman aboard an American Airlines flight caused quite the scene when she was caught on camera freaking out and heading for the exit over an apparent passenger she said was “not real" …  as the flight was preparing to depart Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport.

“I’m telling you, I’m getting the f–k off and there’s a reason why I’m getting the f–k off and everyone can either believe it or they can not believe it,” the woman yells as she paces to the front of the plane, according to footage of the incident circulating on TikTok.

“I don’t give two f–ks, but I am telling you right now – that motherf–ker back there is NOT real.”

She then points to the rear of the plane, prompting other passengers to turn around to get a glimpse of the source of her concern.

“You can sit on this plane and you can die with them or not. I’m not going to,” the woman adds, before apparently leaving.

Let's pause here for a moment to do an assessment of this human flight delay, who left the others stranded for three hours while the FAA sorted out her shit. Specifically, let's graph her on the Crazy/Hot Matrix:

We can all quibble about where exactly to plot her points along the Crazy and Hot axis. Opinions may vary. But I also believe we can all agree she is firmly in the Danger Zone, high up on both scales. As the professor here puts it (explained around the 1:45 mark), "This is your redheads. Your strippers. Anyone named Tiffany. Hairdressers. This is where your car gets keyed. You get a bunny in the pot. Your tires get slashed. You wind up in jail." 

Now Tiffany the Hairdresser here (she hasn't been identified, but I've got to call her something), may have been having a psychotic episode. And if that's the case, I feel sorry for her. But I also know that if I were 20 years younger and single, I'd totally buy her story about the Not Real man in the back of the plane. Risk all the vandalism to my car and a night or two behind bars. And take a ride into her Danger Zone.

But still, this all begs the question of what her freak out was all about. Was it a psychotic break? A bad reaction to meds? An X-Files? Fortunately for all of us, there was a celebrity on that flight. Even more fortunately, since it takes crazy to explain crazy, that celebrity was Carrot Top. And America's most successful prop comic (that's not praise) for the last three decades is here to give us his take:

Same source - Carrot Top has claimed he was on the same flight as the woman responsible for the now-infamous in-flight freakout — which he claims she was doing just for thrills.

The “f – – king nutjob just lost her mind in front of the whole plane,” said the 58-year-old comic while giving his flywitness testimony in one of the clips. …

In one of the videos, which shows Carrot Top sitting at the Dallas airport after the impromptu deplaning, the comic says the whole incident was sparked because the woman “lost her earbud.” …

Thompson added that he tips his hat to “everyone at American Airlines” for how they handled the situation.

“I hope you’re having a relaxing evening behind bars in Dallas, Texas, and hope you enjoyed your little stunt,” concluded Carrot Top, insinuating that the woman had been locked up for her freakout.

Well OK, then. That settles that. If anyone is going to understand an unhinged woman screaming about seeing imaginary humans on a commercial flight, it's a guy who's built a comedy empire stuffing a steamer trunk with dolls stuffed into Fed Ex boxes, mannequin heads, and purses that launch tampons across a room. It's just a shame he didn't have one of his signature props in his carry on that might have calmed a deranged woman who was seeing ghosts. 

With any luck, we'll find out this was all just temporary. The lady is getting the help she needs and doing much better. And above all else, there were no phantoms on the plane, just real people. All I know is that the way things are going, this won't crack the Top 100 craziest airline incidents of 2023. And the next time I have to travel, I'm just going to take the bus like John Madden used to. He was truly a man ahead of his time.