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A.I. Teddy Bears Are The Most Reckless Invention Since The Atomic Bomb

Daily Mail - Allan Wong, co-founder of toymaker VTech, thinks teddies will be fitted with AI that will offer an alternative to parents reading to their kids. 

Like a cross between ChatGPT and Furby, the toy would listen to everything the child says and use the data to create personalised bedtime tales just for them. 

AI-enabled teddies will likely be available in 2028, Wong said, although he admitted the possibilities of smart tech are 'a little scary'. 

Smart toys by created Wong's firm have already been the subject of a Which? report as they could potentially be vulnerable to hacking by strangers.

More reckless than crack. More reckless than a submarine made out of items found at a garage sale. I know everybody is excited to begin pawning off as many parenting tasks as possible onto robots. I am as well. I can't wait to have a child and spend as little time with him as possible thanks to modern day robot-nanny technology. Kids are so annoying. "Read to me daddy! I want to spend time with you!", like it's 2020 or something. Miss me with that. Thankfully, the days of having to actually parent your stupid children are numbered. A.I. Teddy Bears are on the way to save us. 

I myself am looking forward to the prospect of neglecting my future children, but make no mistake, this is a horrible idea. This isn't some 2018 robot teddy bear where you upload your favorite Brother's Grimm tales into it's ass and hit the play button on it's belly. This teddy bear has a brain. It can spin it's own yarns and tell personalized stories based on things the child has told it about themselves. Very cool, very futuristic.

All modern day A.I. technology comes with at least a 5% chance of things going horribly wrong. But these bears... I'm going to give these teddy bears an 80% chance of disaster. A teddy bear that concocts stories based on the non-sensical things that come from the mind of a child is one of the most reckless inventions I've ever heard. I don't have a child, but I've met several. They're fucking nuts. Being a child is basically just a 13-year long acid trip. They have zero filter, and nothing is off-limits. They know nothing, so they're going to say everything that's inappropriate. They're going to ask about death. They're going to ask about sex. They're going to ask about violence. They're going to ask about literally everything. That's what kids do. What type of tall-tale do you think this bear is going to cook up when he mixes the child's friend group with his newfound fascination with death? A fun age-appropriate story about his Billy dying in a car accident? Because I feel like that's on the table. 

And that's just a normal, innocent kid. What if the child is twisted? In today's world, thanks to violent video games and the Jokes, twisted children are a dime a dozen. Plus, they have the entire internet at their fingertips from the moment they're born. Hospitals issue children iPads at birth. They're watching faces of death beheading videos by the time they're 5, and are regularly consuming hard-core pornography by age 7. Anything that child doesn't understand is going to be asked to the bear. 

- Who is Joseph Kony?
- Who is Harvey Weinstein?
- What did Bill Cosby do?

All that shit. The robot brain of a child's A.I. Teddy Bear after 10 years of questions is going to be a scary thing. Good luck to all the parents who rely on them to raise their children.